seven octillion atoms

this is a note about pain. chronically chromatic.

sung at the octave of self-love and intuition.

about wisdom that lives

-

in thirty-seven trillion cells.

in seven octillion atoms. in this body approaching

thirty-seventh revolution. around a sun.

-

octillion. that’s a billion billion billions.

or so the internets say. might change tomorrow.

and that’s okay too.

am thinking of octopuses now.

how their blue blood travels in vessels.

between three hearts. two of which beat.

in synchronicity.

little love chambers circulating art.

-

at the aquarium a few years ago i learned

eight of octopuses’ nine brains live in their arms.

how much knowledge they must absorb simply.

by reaching out.

little nervous systems sounding alarms.

-

told my love the other day

poetry is sometimes just away

to connect the dots

in our wandering brains.

leave a trail of dot dot dot in ink. clouds and shades of grey.

-

what matters. is this human. embodies a soul.

wrapped in soft tissue and cartilage

cohabitating with chronic pain. and red blood erratically

traveling in vessels. to a single heart eye can’t see.

-

do you know that octopus. bodies are gifted.

two eyes to view their world. in black and white yet.

somehow these cephalopod cells learn to shift.

change color and shape.

when danger arrives.

-

do you think they know. how brilliant they are.

that their bodies also illuminate

when they dream much exists in space between darkness and light.

bodies are containers. for more vibrance than.

our limited vision allows.

-

yesterday pinched a nerve

along familiar fault lines. in the sea.

the one that wraps around. two words. the heart.

tendrils trailing along spine

tracing ink clouds to the sky.

do you know that octopus arms

have over two thousand suction cups. to taste. grip. to smell.

humans call them suckers.

imagine what they must hold onto how often they must let go.

do you know touch is my primary love language.

-

what does earthbound body typically do.

when pain flares. above surface of calm’s see.

legs stumble. voicebox arms reach out to.

other humans. touch-hug-hold me.

anything to ease.

-

can’t now. six feet never felt so far.

wishing for more brains in these arms.

two thousand suckers falling away. from the surface

of a freezing silver pool of flight.

-

do you know barrier reefs. and protective shells.

sometimes contain. the most curious gifts.

when you dive deeper than. six feet under.

and explore.

-

how do thirty-seven trillion. cells often react to pain.

clench.tighten.recoil.protect.

what will seven octillion atoms choose today.

soften. breathe. move. slowly. deliberately.

-

anxiety sits above surface waters poised. anger floats too.

eight sweet suckers dangling from outstretched arms.

eager to jump in with phrases brain does not realize

-

now

seven octillion atoms. softening

slowly breathing.

intuitively shapeshifting. brilliantly

underwater.

-

in the aftermath of recent pain.

eight essential armbrains.

choose soft tissue embrace.

-

two hearts beat rhythms. together apart.

back to one chronically chromatic.

solitary heart.

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