Self Care Is Choosing, to Breathe

by Gloria Ukoh 6 months ago in sad poetry

{Warning: Potentially Triggering}

Self Care Is Choosing, to Breathe

breathing is exhausting / being alive is my body on standby, one pause away from shutting down / i am still functioning, is that not enough?

things have been better / i am learning to sort through my skeletons / to dust off the broken bones at the back of wardrobe / i have thrown away debris left by past loves, even the ones i thought loved me back /

i am still wondering what to do about the box of red flags in the corner / at least, i have acknowledged them /

but breathing is still a difficult choice / it does not feel as natural as it used to / this feeling is a broken siren heard in the distance. / alarming at first, but easy to ignore /

death is tempting / but still not enough.

i am trying to be gentle with myself / i know that i can drag my reluctant body out of my coffin / i am almost ready to place flowers on my grave /

almost ready to be mourned for /

my heart dances to its own anxious rhythm / these days, i wish it was easier to stop the music /

i know that this will pass / but breathing is still a difficult choice.

sad poetry
Read next: I Am A Bullet.
Gloria Ukoh

I'm in recovery for a lot of things - like others, writing became my form of therapy.

See all posts by Gloria Ukoh