Today was a bad day
I’m seeing stars
lingering in the hangover of sobbing
drowning in my own tears
I got lost inside my head again
dragged to the bottom of the sea again
pulled by the anchors attached to my legs
I feel a pain that’s all too familiar
like a next door neighbor
that won’t leave me alone
I’m still paying for the mistakes
made by my former self
Shaken that I haven’t changed
as much as I thought
I see the devil lurking in the shadows
waiting to escort me back to hell
I’m trying to swim up
I’m trying to kick and paddle
but I feel paralyzed
crippled by self enmity
But I don’t need to drown again
I won’t
I know how to survive this
Even if I can’t swim right now
I know what can lift me up
I have floating devices
I can paint waves
collect shells
listen to the hymns of the seagulls
or watch the sunset on the horizon
I can’t swim
But it’s okay
to wear a life jacket for now
I deserve to float
I deserve peace
and so do you
- Self-Care
About the Creator
Deanna Dellia
Deanna Dellia is an up and coming poet in New York. She is a psychotherapist, an educator, and an activist. Learn more about the poetry collection at intsagram.com/deannadelliapoetry and more about the author at instagram.com/deannadellia
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