Ruin

I’m still learning

How to grow through

The storms

I’ve been handed.

I’m still

Trying

To learn how to

Love

Completely

Without losing myself.

You see

My love is

An ocean,

Yes,

But not as gentle

As a tidal wave.

My love is a

Tsunami.

She erupts

And crashes

Ferociously,

Leaving complete

Destruction in her wake.

You see,

It’s not her fault.

She’s never known

“A medium love”.

She’s only known

All you’ve got

Or

Nothing at all.

She is learning

As am I

That this is okay.

She, my love,

Is an over thinker.

She’s always had to plan

For whatever could

Happen.

Her heart started

To not be able

To handle being

Broken

Over and over again.

She learned

How to build her walls.

How to make them of industrial steel

Because at least she could say

She didn’t give herself

To someone

Who never deserved her.

She’s only ever known

That when you love someone

You love

Every piece of them.

Every wrinkle,

Every story,

Every nook,

Every cranny,

She doesn’t understand

“Surface relationships”

They break her heart.

She knows you take someone

For exactly who they are;

Just as they come,

When you love them.

She knows compromise.

They’ve been intimate

For many years now.

Compromise

Dressed himself in pretty promises,

Of change

And breathtaking hues

Of white lies.

My love has known

How to compromise

For so long,

She once forgot

That she was

Perfectly valid

For all of the things she was.

My love,

She was so busy,

Trying to make herself

That exact shade

Of melancholy gray

He wanted

She forgot

Just how brilliant

The hues of her

Tsunami

Shined.

Compromise wanted so

Badly

To dull

The luminescence

Of my love

That he began to pull away.

Made my love feel as though

She

Was shameful.

“Too much”

“Too cheesy”

“Helpless romantic”

You see,

My love,

She felt all alone in this

Intimacy

With compromise.

She didn’t realize

How many people

Would love her

Just as she is.

My love wanted so badly

To be that dull

Monotone

Gray.

To simply

“Blend”

To the pavement.

She was already so used

To being walked on.

My love stopped believing

A person

Could make her heart look—

Feel like

A warm technicolor sky

She couldn’t find it

In herself

To believe

In magic.

Believe me,

She wanted to.

She’s learning that

The stormy,

Inanimate encounters she had

During her intimacy

With compromise,

Do not mean

She is

Wrong

For the fire,

my love,

she ignites.

She’s learning

How to tell

Who is deserving to be

Wrapped up

Tightly

In her warm dreamcoat

Of love.

She’s learning

She’s not

“Too” anything.

Not for the right people.

She’s re-learning

The entrancing magic

Kindness has

Especially

On herself.

My love,

She is the stars,

The fairytales,

The storms,

And the

Explosion of sunset gold.

She is kind,

Even to herself

Even when that is the last thing

She wants to do.

She’s learning.

Be patient with her.

Be patient with me.

-arl