Recession

Feeling like I could release scream after scream

Until they reach a distance so very far away.

Not that it would really do much of anything constructive

Except perhaps to help relieve the pressure that in me seems to stay.

At times my chest feels as though it could silently explode,

And my head feels as though the thoughts are mixed and all a jumble.

I just want this constant spinning all around me to stop

Before I drop and take what I know will be a horrible tumble.

Maybe I’ll end up being someone like Alice in Wonderland,

And I’ll fall down to the unknown through a huge hole in a tree;

Never seeing where I’m headed or knowing what will happen,

Only knowing that there’s trouble ahead wherever I will be.

Please make this pain I feel inside me go away.

I need comfort, love, and something unbeknownst to me

To feed me, fill me, and make me feel complete;

Whatever it may be, I don’t know, and cannot clearly see.

Inside me there’s such an immense drought,

I’m withering away into someone I don’t recognize.

Never smiling except when I need to make someone unaware

Of what’s really going on – not wanting them the truth to realize.

Reality lies hidden away deep down somewhere underneath

All that resides within my heart, soul and my being.

Whilst each day and night drift lingeringly by me,

Seeming to take much of me with them, and I’m only left reeling.

Sadness so deeply sown therein is a rooted part of me

Until I seem to know nothing else except the deep-seated pain.

Sometimes life seems so hard, so crushing, and so unfair

That I can always feel upon my breast where it leaves a weary stain.

The tears have come and gone – there have been so many,

Now I feel withered and dried out, nearly unfeeling of anything.

This can’t be the life of which I dreamed so long ago;

It’s only a life full of pain and sadness in which I am left lingering.

I wish I could see sun in the clouds and stars at night in the distant skies,

But for now all I see is encroaching, encompassing darkness all about.

It shrouds me and throws a cloak about me that envelopes my soul,

Leaving me with nothing to feed upon except for perpetual doubt.