PTSD

It’s hard to speak my mind

When I feel that all is wrong.

It’s hard to speak my mind

When you only think I’m wrong.

I cannot tell you how to feel

When you only give me pain.

It hurts my heart to hear you’re mad .

I feel left out in rain.

I cannot speak of what I know ,

For you’ll grow madder still.

I cannot ease your troubled mind.

To you, I’m just a pill.

It hurts me to hear your voice

As it echoes angrily.

If I had but one choice

No one would bother me.

I try to remain silent

And let the blows fall.

I try to keep reliance

That someday you'll know all.

I sit in torment stricken,

Waiting just to feel

The weight upon my cheekbone

Of a sting I know too real.

Yet now it comes never.

I’m trapped within my mind.

Forced to live forever

Searching to never find.

And through this misery burning,

I struggle just to try

To find the reasons I am learning

To why I don’t deserve to die.