productivity.

Productivity is funny concept to me.

Work, work, work.

Throughout our young lives we are told to work, to push ourselves, to go beyond what everyone else is doing.

But, why then – why do we get told to relax? To balance work and play?

Have society changed their mind on the matter? No one consulted me.

Now here I am, propelling at an exhilarating rate, and not seeing any moment to slow down. But that is exactly what they tell me to do, slow down, right before hitting me with another project, another deadline – another thing to do.

What they don’t understand is that my work encompasses the whole of my being.

Each project is a portion of my inner truth, and must be treated with respect as such. I cannot continue to push these works out at the rate I am without proper self-care post-hand-in.

They are moments. They are documented and thoroughly explored moments in my life that hold within them my thoughts and sentiments attached to that stage of being.

At the end of each, I hit a slump, a depression and I know it is coming every time. But when the deadlines and projects start to overlap, like they are beginning to now, I have no time to absorb the emotions, or appropriately end the chapter. I have multiple books open, like tabs in Safari, with no time to revisit and close them once and for all. It is like a multitude of little worlds and universes of concepts living on and continuing in my head past the deadline.

They take up space, time and emotion – so much emotion.

I need to find an outlet.