Prey

It has been approximately 6,205 days and it still lingers in my brain.

Back then I would strain my arms, outreached to someone, anyone who understands.

As I take a deep breath, I sense your presence in the room again.

And

My

Heart

Drops

Because unlike all the other times you’ve done this, you had a smile creeping across your face,

Like it was funny.

Like it brought you a sense of joy to bring me harm, fear, and disgust.

I shook as you came closer.

Inching towards me as if I were your prey, your smile grew.

And my fear flew.

It flew through the air and into the atmosphere sending a signal to god,

A signal praying for him to help.

And when it reached the lord he came down.

But instead of doing something about the tragedy in front of him,

He watched.

And said nothing.

And I fucking knew he would too.

When you got off me, wiping your hands off on your pants,

You left my room, like you had gotten your fix, and now you were done, until next time.

I sat there shaking, wishing for death.

and as a fucking five year old all these thoughts came so quickly and I felt truly alone at a young age.

Oh and don't worry, the day I finally told someone, it was already too late. There was nothing they could do about it.

c.b.