poet

when i was five

i was afraid of leprechauns

because the one that visited my classroom

looked like mrs. a

i didn't want her to be gone

when i was six

i pulled my first grade teacher aside

i whispered

i don't want to grow up

she looked at me

with that knowing look

that i have no control look

they told me i was an old soul

but old souls tend to stay old

hang on to innocence

when i was seven

i cried to my dance teacher

because the song she played me

was just so beautiful

she told me

never harden

that pain is art

feel deeply

when i was twenty i got quiet

numb and silent

soaking in red

even to painfully beautiful things

when i turned thirty

my sensitive soul was healing

the world told me turn down my emotion

to soften the words i use to describe myself

to be less, quiet

to say excellent communication skills

instead of poet

because poet is a hard word

it is too broad

bookended by plosives

a word that needs protection

in front of a microphone

to protect our ears

from the tiny explosions

created by its toughness

i am not afraid of leprechauns now

i still do not want to grow up

i cry again at beautiful things

i use my words as power

because that is what they are

that is what i am

poet

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