Panic

I have bees buzzing in my brain

and I have been given no mercy

A punch to my throat

Ice sliding down my back

It’s no comfort to me

The path before me is the thinnest sheet of ice

with no stable ground beneath

The next wave of anxiety could shatter the ground

then I’m gone

A freezing snowstorm could cover the path with a dense white blanket

leaving me with no clear direction

The bees keep buzzing

My throat begins to throb and bruise

My body starts to lose its feeling

as the violent shakes attempt to generate heat

How soft do my footsteps have to be?

How slow must I walk to reach the end of this fragile path?

Do you hear that?

I swear I can hear someone coming after me

They’re lugging something around

it sounds so heavy

I keep waiting for the hammer to strike right before me

I’m still trying to get as far as I can

but my surroundings remain the same

It makes me wonder if I’m even moving at all

The runner charging towards me is getting closer and closer

The wind is picking up

I can see the dark purple snow clouds gathering above me

It’s getting colder

The footsteps louder

The ice beneath me is starting to feel thinner by the second

My hands clasp around my throat

There’s no air coming in

I want to drop to my knees

but the impact would be too great

I want to rest

but the bees are growing louder and louder

Their honey begins to seep out of my ears

out of my eyes

I’m coughing up the thick sweet goo

The ice is cracking

The snow begins to fall

The hammer strikes before me

There’s no mercy at all

Just the swift gust of cold wind rushing through my body

I squeeze my eyes shut

and take a deep breath

I don’t want to see my own ending

I don’t want to feel it