A hollowness
In the stomach
As solid ground
Evaporates from
Beneath you
(Airborne)
❀
Your back pressed
Against the confines
Of a brick corner
(Trapped)
Grateful you
Cannot move
❀
The ocean’s waves
Pummelling you
Against coarse sand
And soaked seaweed
Stealing your breath
Burning your eyes
(The kind of thing
You keep running towards
With joyous laughter
No matter how many times
It knocks you down)
❀
The sweetness
Of sugarcoated candy
(Packets torn open and
Crumpled in minutes)
❀
Swallowing surety
Exhaling longing
❀
Standing on the threshold
Of an arched doorway
Torn between looking away
And stepping closer
❀
People and places
Vanishing like soil
Beneath growing plants
And blooming flowers
❀
All of it summarised
By two sets of eyes
Meeting across
Another crowded room
All of it condensed to
Eye contact instead of
Worlds colliding
❀❀❀❀❀
Opia - the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable
~~~
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (3)
I shall keep it short and sweet: this is the objective correlative made manifest! SO gorgeous! The zooming-in effect is working incredibly well here. I love it, and the word, opia. :D
love this and the extra information
Fantastic!