Only the Highlights
Sometimes I wish I could go through life, Only living the highlights.
I want to delete the mornings that bring with them a sense of dread,
that sits in the bottom of my stomach,
Heavy and persistent.
Weighing me down like a stone.
I want to skip over the feelings of helplessness,
Of feeling insignificant and alone.
Like there is no one around that can help me.
Like no one can even hear me.
I want to turn up the volume;
I spend every day screaming at the top of my lungs,
Ripping my throat to ribbons,
Shattering any illusions that I might be fine.
Yet still, somehow, going entirely unnoticed.
I want to replay the good times.
The moments with friends that I cherish,
The moments with lovers I’ll never forget,
The moments in life, I’ve felt that I’ve achieved something worthwhile.
I want to fast forward to the highlights.
But I’m worried the highlights have already gone.