“You’re so mature of your age”
I hear it from everyone I come across as if it was something to be proud of
I wonder how much birth order shaped me
Did being born first shape my whole personality?
Did it force me to be a caretaker even if it wasnt my instinct?
I wonder if I was born last
would I not feel responsible for everyone‘s feelings?
would I be able to let my guard down?
would I be able to have a childhood?
“You’re so mature for your age”
Im just a kid, wishing I had the chance to play that role for longer
wishing I didnt have to grow up so fast
jealousy haunts me as I watch my younger siblings living worry free
making the most of their youth
no guilt will haunt them the day they leave for college
guilt indudges in me the day I pack for college
knowing im the glue
feeling responsible for my younger siblings
feeling guilty for leaving them
I need to put myself first
but how can I when
im so used to fixing and nurturing everyone