no eyes on me

bright fluorescent lights never seemed so dark

resting faces never looked so threatening

I should’ve stayed in bed, slept today away

passing people and watching my moves

left foot, right, thinking about the next

I don’t need a scene, I’ll stay behind the camera

faces and names I know – holiday dinner

they wonder what I’ve been doing

“keeping far away” is not the right answer

I’d cry if I could, but I have to hold back

the silence is too deafening for a reaction

I just want to go home

welcoming arms of cloth bedclothes

like mother’s love on a rainy day

I’ve never been so far away

cement fills the belly and hand clench the throat

my heart wails a deafening drone

I’ll sell my coat, just ride me back home

I’m counting down the hours until my door is locked

and when the hour comes, I won’t hesitate

I’ll turn off the lights and sleep dreamlessly.