New Day

To hate me would mean I mean something

That’s what you said, I remember the sting

I remember your words, so carefully plotted

So carefully placed in the order allotted

You seemed to mull over every thought

So it would seem, but apparently not

I know it’s a lie, I know it’s a lie

I know you could never look me in the eye

Will I ever forgive the way you behave?

Can’t I forget those words that you gave?

“Your words like knives cutting at my flesh

I turn them into mumbles that kiss and caress”

Foreshadow, foreshadow, forever will I see

Forever will I see that sheer mockery of me

Forever will I writhe in my bath of memories

Will I ever wriggle free of tormenting inquiries?

I don’t see, I don’t hear, I beg you don’t explain

I plead you don’t describe to me and make me go insane

I can’t imagine, I can’t think, if ever there were a thought

An excruciatingly awful thing, to think I could have sought

Such imagery that makes me sick, I vomit in my sheets

I squirm around and feel these sounds, my fast-paced heart beats

I hope I’m deaf, I hope I’m blind, I hope I won’t ever feel

These wounds, these scars, these cuts and bruises don’t ever seem to heal

My face will fade and wash down the drain

And I’ll look to the mirror to see the bloody remains

My bones shone through all the tissue and gore

And I scrape it away still yearning for more

These characters they’ve grown so stale, please just go away

I close my eyes and open them to see it’s a new day

A new poem to be written, and it’s still just as bleak

These new people, this new place, yet I’m still just as weak

They’ll look at me today, then tomorrow look away

And then I’ll close my eyes and see there will be no new day