my confidence

My confidence is all I have left,

it is my self love

it is sacred to me,

because it has been crticised and misused and exploited,

even by myself.

i cant just share it with anyone anymore

especially not with someone who thinks they desevre it just because they are so used to getting it from everyone else,

even i am having a hard time deserving it again.

so when it does come out,

i have to treat her like she is no one ive ever seen before

special

unique

irreplaceable.

and if you dont come to me with that same genuine awe, it cant be shared with you.

i cannot wear vulnerable lingerie

i cannot dance to tease you for your lust

i cannot expect to be something you havent already seen or experienced

i am brand new and i need to be treated as such

before you deserve my confidence