My Angel

2:00am

My eyes are filled with tears of joy.

I am with you just like before.

This time I am grown, but not you.

You are the same as I last remember.

Pale skin, as though melanin was allergic to you.

Short hair underneath the headwear

you wore … Curly this time.

I am happy to see you again beautiful.

You are the epitome of an angel.

Not only do I believe that but everyone else too.

3:00am

It has been an hour just looking at you.

When will we speak again?

I see you but I can't hear you, I can’t even feel you.

My Heart is in pain now.

You are fading.

Where are you going? How can I meet you there?

Please answer me.

These tears are no longer a symbol of joy.

I am in so much pain now.

3:02am

This feels just as it did the first time.

She disappeared again…it happened so fast.

I am now awake and not alive.

I wrap myself in my blanket of pain.

“Mommy is an angel now"

That's what everyone said to me.

But my heart didn't feel it. “She feels dead to me"