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Moving On

by N. Thomas 9 months ago in heartbreak
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Mixed signals

Moving On
Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

You seemed genuinely grateful when you thanked me

for believing in you and always being there

And I thought I was so special when you'd do things

like give me money to do my nails and my hair

But when I tell you I want more

now you act like you're baffled and dumbstruck

Gee, I can't imagine how I ever got the impression

that I was more than just another fuck

When you'd hold me in your arms, when you'd kiss me

it all made my heart just melt

When you'd look into my eyes, it made my knees weak,

it was something like I'd never felt

How could I have misunderstood that I was a warm body

that you can take or leave at any time

And you still think you have the high ground

like playing with hearts is a victimless crime

I started to believe it and feel more confident

when you told me how beautiful and sexy I am

And when you told me how much you loved me,

I actually believed you gave a damn

You started a conversation to get me talking about my dreams

and then once you heard what I had to say

You just once again reminded me that you don't want me

and you couldn't care less either way

I thought it was cute that you called me babe, or sometimes sweetheart,

I thought that it was great

But now I realize that it was probably

just because you couldn't keep all the names straight

You didn't want to take responsibility for you not wanting kids,

so you wanted me to tie my tubes

You'd let me do something so long-term

while you continued trying to fuck everything that moves

I told you we should stay together a couple more months

and you said you wanted to be with me much longer

You told me you loved me

but I knew deep down my love for you was much stronger

But you can't imagine how I could have not known you didn't want me

you thought you made it very clear

Acting like I'm the idiot for being confused

after getting dicked around for all of these years

For so long I thought you were wonderful, I saw all your potential,

even thought for a while that you were "the one"

But you don't give a shit if I move on and even think I should

so there, it's done

heartbreak

About the author

N. Thomas

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