Monte Carlo

Red like our beating hearts

Fast like our love and dreams

Old like our fights

Small like our truth

I live through your Monte Carlo

I will never forget

I know you will never forget

I just hope you can forgive

I look out the window every day

With that glimmer of hope that I'll see it stop in front of me

You'll get out and give me a kiss like you used to

No.

The Monte Carlo has been damaged

I caused it

You never asked for it

You would give me your love till the end of the world if I let you

But I didn't let you

I stopped you

I turned my head and my heart shrank

I wish I could tell you

I wish I could whisper into your ears again

And express my bottomless sorrow

your arms wrapped around me like blankets

Yet I'm still so cold

The cold is coming from inside me

My heart has frozen over

You are a victim

You received the blow of my frozen heart

For which you never asked for

For which you were undeserving

For which you prayed for both of our good,

would never happen

But it did

I did this to you

I took your heart and I put it in my hand and I squeezed until my fingers touched my palm

So innocent and full of love you were

crushed by someone who doesn't even love themselves

I love you,

though

And I can love me too.