Mi(nd)graine

Staring at a blank page every fucking day.

Open the book, blank page.

Open the laptop, blank page.

Open the text message, blank page.

Mid conversation, blank.

How can one feel so much and have nothing to say?

Feelings, emotions swirling everywhere.

The idea of perfection takes over.

No change.

Same feeling.

Same blank fucking page.

Will the feeling of accomplishment ever be recognized?

Tiredness turns into exhaustion.

Exhausted from the same shit.

Fear?

Fear of not getting something right?

Fear of being wrong?

I’m trying. Giving up is not an option. I recognize. A step closer to getting better. Ok. This is good.

Not good enough.

Keep going.

That's it?

Blank page again? For fucks sake.

It's starting again,

Second guessing.

Perfectionism eating up my brain.

Another day on the battlefield, who will win?

What's the right word? Ok I see this... how should I say it? No that's not right...

Forget it.

Frustration takes over.

Disappointment.

What do you know?

Shut up.

You can't even get that right.

Leave me alone.

Fix it.

I don't-

Will you ever learn?

What do you want from me?

You failed. Again.

STOP IT

GET AWAY FROM ME

EN-

You're right... I don't know why I’m like this. I should know better. There are no such thing as excuses.

Listen to me.

Okay...

You must get it right.

Don't mess up.

Your trophy awaits on the other side

Just behind that finish line-

Acceptance.