Me

I hate everything about myself.

I hate how my voice is so high pitched it shatters eardrums and champagne glasses like an earthquake.

I hate how my curly hair resembles that of an untamed lion with an attitude problem.

I hate how brown my eyes are. I hate a pool of honey, a gross sweet unbearably sticky substance surrounds my iris, I hate how you can see the pain deep within them if you look hard enough.

I hate how my ADHD controls and cripples me; I hate how my mind goes ten thousand miles an hour and my lips are permanently stuck at a red light.

I hate how my DYSLEXIA forces my head into an over- flowing river of, syllables, nouns, verbs, and teacher's never-ending sighs of disappointment.

I hate how everyone hates me.

I hate how alone I feel at night, when I curl up next to my pillow and pretend it's you cradling me.

I hate how cold it is.

I hate how I choke on the words that escape my lips and leech off all the air I take into my lungs.

I want to feel as if I matter in this world.

As if I’m not just a result of carbon and bad timing, I want the scrapes and bruises on my knees to someday change the world, I want to feel your eyes on me again.

Because you made me feel like I mattered.

You made me feel warm.

You made me feel-

A.P.M