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Maybe I Am The Poison

by Becky Curl 2 years ago in sad poetry
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Maybe I am the poison, when all of these years, I have always thought myself the antidote.

Maybe I Am The Poison
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

(After “I’m Nobody! Who Are you? (260) by Emily Dickinson)

Maybe I am just over-dramatic.

Maybe I have been living in the past.

Maybe I am the one with the problem.

Maybe everything that was wrong with us

was just what was wrong within

Me.

Maybe I am the poison,

when all of these years, I have always thought myself the antidote.

Maybe I am the purveyor of pain.

Mine.

Yours.

Everyone I touch turns to ash.

I am so cold,

yet, my tongue burns even hotter than the sun.

Maybe it was all my fault.

Maybe I have been victim-blaming the wrong victim.

Maybe I abandoned myself years ago,

long before you or he or anyone else ever could.

Maybe who I am right now was never who I was supposed to be,

or maybe this is just who I have always been.

Nothing.

Nobody.

In the words of dear old Emily, are you nobody, too?

Or did I make you that way?

Did I take and take and take until the only thing you had left were the feet that took you away from me?

Did I take all of your good and replace it with all of my bad?

Maybe you were mine before we ever had a chance to become us.

I don’t think there was ever truly any “us.”

There was you.

And there was me.

A pair of nobodies.

Just trying so desperately to become someone else.

I admired.

I took.

I left you no choice but to leave.

I had to move on.

I needed more.

Maybe it was never that you or he or they were not enough.

Maybe it was me

that was always

too

much.

sad poetry

About the author

Becky Curl

Freelance Writer. Freelance Make-Up Artist. Teacher. Wig & Make-Up Designer. Coffee, dogs & pop-punk are my life.

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