March 19th

Most people have felt it - that profound loneliness courtesy of lockdowns and restrictions. Being apart from friends, family, and partners has hit some harder than others, myself included.

The last year and a half for me has been particularly tough, especially since I'm away from my partner. What was a weekend trip home turned into months of isolation as a result of Covid-19. This was made harder by the fact I was now 170 miles away. The night we spent before I left is one I reflect upon frequently, and it is the subject of this short poem:

I am holding you now,

unaware that after tonight

we will not touch for months

though memories of your hands

will linger on my shoulders like

a cool breeze in the summer heat;

unaware that tomorrow on

the train, I will picture the

hall light on your cheekbones

and the sound of the flat door

closing behind you as you

leave to drive home;

unaware that in four days time

when we are locked down, I will

curse my past self for not

speaking a little sweeter,

holding you a little tighter,

kissing you a little longer.

But for now, I am holding you,

and you are holding me back -

two bodies intertwined in

a darkened room.