Love Lost

I don’t know what to make of this

For I’ve not tasted Satan’s kiss

You nihilistic hedonist

I thought I got you but I missed

x

So what is true, and where am I

And how did you fill up my sky

With thoughts and oughts of you, and why

Do I feel blue when I stop my

x

Endless process of boxing up

Perhaps excess spills out my cup

I must confess, I am a mess

I’m dying here but I digress

x

The cliff is sheer and much too near

Nothing is as it does appear

My musings are not more than mere

Attempts I make to so cohere

x

And match my map to its terrain

But now I do confound my brain

What I yet mean in meaning’s name

Is that our loves are not the same

x

For loyalty in love you see

Has always seemed, to me, to be

Necessity, or destiny

For none are free when love takes thee

x

Compelling them to hate the thought

Of battles lost but never fought

What is the cost to court the court

To plead for what you’ve always sought

x

To lead me through your weary mind

In desperate hopes that I will find

That in this act we are in kind

As if one copes completely blind

x

I learnt the ropes before my dear

And I know how we end up here

These tired old tropes that trace a tear

Are only now becoming clear

x

For it was just as I did fear

You left without saying goodbye

How did we get from there to here

And which of us did truly try

x

The narrative inside your head

In which you see yourself as sly

Is nothing more than what I’ve said

And in my books fiction don’t fly

x

A story spun from silver tongue

Intoxicant with which you ply

Young souls whose song your soul has sung

Enchanting is your set of I

x

Decanting desperate despair

Expressed as but a bitter sigh

I’m breathing in this toxic air

Stuck in a rut of what and why

x

I thought our ought was to be fair

In lovely life and love yet lost

Yet now it seems like you don’t care

And all I feel from you is frost

x

It’s almost more than I can bare

And yet in store as in your stare

As in your core, it’s stormy there

Lovers at war are more a pair

x

You’re young of mind but old of heart

I guess I knew that from the start

Untame by name, I should have known

That if, perhaps, you thought you’d grown

x

Beyond the point where we could walk

Without our losing sight of we

That you would not know how to talk

Or take responsibility

x

You hypocrite, you harlot whore

I made my home a scarlet score

Inside your heart, you were my art

Despite our poem you locked the door

x

And in the pause of plausible

That you made up to take your space

I audited the audible

And found my fear to be the case

x

You lied to me and then you left

That’s not enough - cardiac theft?

I like it rough but really dude

With loyalty I’ve never screwed

x

But you and he do what you will

I know you’d do it anyway

Lying is an artistic skill

Lie to yourself and let it sway

x

Your view of what you think I’d do

Despite the fact I’m true to you

You’re loyal right, that’s what you said

Yet you’re willing to share his bed

x

A traitorous and tortured tool

Who I helped shape since back in school

I helped him grow, made sure to show

Him how to know he was no fool

x

A fool of me he has yet made

As has the snake with which he laid

And could I cast a cogent curse

I would not will it any worse

x

So as I end my final verse

I hope my tone is not too terse

I loathe that you’d let our love fade

You’ve never yet, your piper, paid.