Louder Than Words
the loudest silence I ever heard
Went through the messages today
To see if old pain could be renewed
Wondering how I didn’t know
it was over when you left my house in January
How I held onto your reluctant promise
And listened to your words,
Not what I knew, but went unspoken.
How I accused you of things
You didn’t deny
And you let my pain fall in silence.
If you wanted me, you would have stayed
For actions speak louder than words.
Fool I was, hoping you’d be swayed
By your commitment and promise to us
The blanks the loudest silence ever heard
If you’d been honest from the start,
I could have saved myself from shame
How quickly ‘I love you,’ ‘I miss you,’
Can turn to empty silence.
Not knowing how broken we were,
I fought for us to fix it.
You never told me exactly what you’d done.
Don’t know if you feared my anger,
Or your shattered reflection
But the cruellest thing you ever did was hide
And for weeks I reached out,
mortified each time.
And when you finally did, it was for a favour,
You thought I was still your friend.
And when you apologised,
it was ‘for being honest.’
The joke, was it wasn’t soon enough.
There’s a big difference between won’t and can’t
When you said ‘ I just can’t be your knight.’
I loved you as much as anyone
Who saw as much of you as you'd allow.
Perhaps they see the real you,
Where I wasn’t afforded the same.
Or perhaps I denied it,
and you, all too willing, affirmed.