Loss of Glory

there are days i don’t

want to be artistically expressive

there are days i don’t

want to upload another video

there are days i’m

too embarrassed to

even show my face in public

for multiple reasons, one

totally running out of words

and themes for poems n’ books

each piece of work the

chosen one delivers

sounds like it had no

thought put into it at all

like, are you going to call

twenty pages masterful?

just a slap 2 the face for

readers looking for quality

i’ve neglected my purpose

all so i could become popular

and know what it feels like to

belong in such a demented

society, remedying misery

reason number two

losing my drive, what i adore has

become something i started to loathe

feels more like a chore

than anything else

attempting to rap over a beat and

that same touch i had for

scribing i don’t possess in music

so, should i put up

that written on IGTV?

reason number three

the more success i attain,

the more misunderstood i am

people look at my accomplishments

and listen to me talk about trauma

thinking i have it all together

like i’m a new york times bestseller

raking in hundreds of

thousands of dollars per quarter

or someone that already

made it and is famous

all the while witnessing me

struggling to establish myself

questioning my feelings

since i have the talent

to get me out of the states i’m in

what no one understands is all

the sacrifices i done had to

make so i could be here

imagine how it feels

when everyone

ya’ used to know

have their eyes on you

continuing to shun your ass

because you’re nothing

like them, i have a soul unlike them

imagine a woman you clicked

with heavily turned against you

and capitalized off your misery

to boost her own image

broken girls like herself

must enjoy the attention

regardless of that,

i still saw through it

once i cease dropping further material,

then it’s when everyone will praise me

scary to even ponder such ideas,

should have received the flowers

while i was able to smell them

now that i’ve went undercover,

you’re doing your best to find out

where i’m dwelling after the fact

i hear em’ now explaining on their

radio stations and

in instagram comments

how far along i was compared

to the rest of the game and

came up with techniques

no other author could fathom

in order to come back stronger

for the future, whenever that may be

i’ll need to die egotistically

my head has become

bloated with immense treachery,

universe please

initiate the loss of glory