Living After Loss

IS IT OVER YET?

the sun peaks over the horizon

it's a new day

is it over yet?

the rooster declares the dawn

it's a new day

is it over yet?

my alarm blares a familiar tune

it's a new day

is it over yet?

the coffee begins to brew

it's a new day

is it over yet?

one foot in front of the other

the days keep coming

time continues on

it's not over yet.

life may be denied to some

but today is gifted to you.

it's not over yet.

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I HAVE TO BE DREAMING

pinch me I have to be dreaming.

please shake me awake.

I beg you this can't be real.

nothing feels right.

it has to be a dream.

pinch me I have to be dreaming

I feel dizzy and faint.

my gut urges me to vacate.

everything is painfully numb.

it has to be a dream.

pinch me I have to be dreaming

I can't seem to catch my breath.

tears keep pouring non-stop.

my mind a blur of denial.

it has to be a dream

pinch me I have to be dreaming

why you?

why me?

why us?

please let it be a dream.

..............................................................................................

I DON'T FEAR DEATH ANYMORE

I don’t fear death anymore.

But…

I do fear my son being alone.

I do fear leaving unfinished business.

I do fear not going after my dreams.

I do fear not achieving my goals.

But…

I don’t fear death anymore.

Because…

I know I won’t be alone.

I know I will learn the unknown.

I know I will reunite with my late love.

I know I will be remembered and always loved.

Because…

I don’t fear death anymore.

I live for every moment.

I radiate kindness and positive energy.

I act and always speak my truth.

I don’t hold back and I don’t wait for tomorrow.

Because….

I don’t fear death anymore.

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Grief is never easy and those who have not suffered with it, do not have a clue what they're in for. I thought I understood the pain and sadness others described, but when I suffered my first loss...the loss of my fiancé, father of my two year old son, my best friend, my absolute twin flame... I learned rather quickly how wrong I had been. The excruciating pain, the unbearable weight, the crippling reality... it's unlike anything else one will feel. There's no getting over it. There's no moving on. There's only adjustment. There's only learning to live with the loss and carry it with you always. It's more than loss of the individual, too. It's loss of a future planned. It's loss of dreams that can never come true. It's loss of moments you can no longer share. It's loss of memories that you can't make anymore. It hurts. It hurts in indescribable ways, but it's still worth it. Grief is only present where love is and love, real love... is always worth it.

Written and deeply felt by A.L. in honor of her early departed twin flame H.M. Gone way too soon, but forever with us until we reunite on the other side. I love you always and forever babe. xoxo

Twin Flame: A twin flame, also known as mirror soul or twin soul, is a term used to define someone who mirrors our energetic frequency and with whom we feel connected on the deepest level, not only physical but also emotional. Often confused with the term "soulmate"... twin flames are two halves of one soul. They are the person who completes you. They are a once in a life time connection that cannot fully pass on without you. You truly are each others other half.