Keep Going

Directly after it happened,

words flowed like a spring stream.

I wrote through the mourning,

scribbled through the pain.

Then I came out there,

and I tried to heal my heart.

I saw, touched, felt

everything that was you...

I lost my voice that day,

no words have come since.

For months I wonder why,

Where had my voice gone?

….Until he called me,

And we spoke of you.

He hurt, I hurt

The change began.

All this time,

fear held my voice hostage.

To write what I felt,

I needed to first feel.

Here I sit,

poorly putting some words down

as if to pretend I fixed the problem.

The fact is I am lost.

In my years I have lost a great deal,

yet nothing has ever felt like this.

Alone I sit at night wondering

how do I continue without you,

how does life be normal again?

Truth be told, I am the problem,

My thoughts I avoid,

I am not comfortable with myself.

Does this mean I start over,

I don’t know who I am.