Just Another Corporate Cog

I would like to say that 2022 marks the moment I kick the corporate game for good, but I'm afraid that that announcement would be a few decades premature. A girl's gotta eat, shop, and travel after all. 2022 does mark another rung on the ladder though, and this little cog is upgrading to a younger, sleeker model. Work life balance is back firmly on the agenda.

So, before I depart for greener pastures, and take a leap into the terrifying unknown, I wanted to share a poem about the corporate world where I cut my teeth. I don't feel this bleak about it anymore but there was definitely a time when, wide eyed and freshly graduated, I remember feeling horrified at the reality of my new world. It felt more like an episode of Suits than I cared to admit.

My Bright Sunbeam

Welcome to the team My Bright Sunbeam.

You're bottom of the pile

and you'll be there for a while

So learn to file

make tea

and look happy.

Now, I don't mean to defeat

the energetic free meat

Please, remain upbeat.

and soon enough we'll start the

slow

slurry

of simply

soul destroying tasks

you asked for.

Like I said, Welcome to the team My Bright Sunbeam.

You're trusted now

So have a go

at something a little more

complex

conscious even.

But

pick up the pace

they'll need it today

by end of play

So come what may

don't delay

don't push back

backtrack

fracture it by function.

I'm not here to cajole

this is your role now

So own it.

Assist. Request.

Reach out. Connect.

Network. Not flirt.

And better yet

work Agile

all the while

you create a seamless

something-centric

corporate pile

of Absolute Bullshit.

Sorry, did I let it slip?

Well, Welcome to the team My Bright Sunbeam.

Come on in and take a seat

let's touch base

It's time for some transparency I think

Cuts are coming

and promotions are on hold,

I'm told

rumors will no doubt unfold

Last hired, First fired

you know the drill

So drill down

and tighten those belts

leverage the last of those Fucking Favours

Up the actions for Easy Wins

and we'll dance to their tune awhile.

that 'Blue Sky' Bollocks

strip and streamline

pivot and prance for the Pricks

And forget 9 til' 5

Look Alive! Your job's on the line.

Cheer up, My Bright Sunbeam.

Let's talk redundancy

It's Payout

Or Sellout.

don't play nice

What's your price?

it's you or him.

Sorry Sunbeam.

I don't mean for it to sound obscene

it's Just Business, you know

Be cut throat!

But, careful, don't gloat

good job though

You made it this time

So wash the blood off your hands

and climb the rung.

Level up

Raise the stakes

And Welcome back to the team My Bright Sunbeam.

Isn't this just everything you dreamed?