January 25, 2018 at 8:01 PM

I'm a nervous wreck, I'm sorry when I talk it seems I'm upset, I can't find the right words to articulate what's in my head

I can't negotiate with myself I'm putting all my chips on the worst bet

for the first time I could trust my gut but it all slid me back inside my bed

I'm dragging myself out, I'm pulling everything I've worried about in and pushing it in corners, covered corridors where it can sit and I can just look in

all those times I lied when you looked at me and I said expressionlessly I was doing just fine, it's easy to tie loose ends in my head, instead I tied knots to connect dead air phone lines