It Never Boils And It Never Ends

As an Englishman I drink a lot of tea

bit of a stereotype I know

but I’m not ashamed

often we just have nothing better to do

often it's a way to pass the time

a way to warm us through in our bleak winters

we're going through one of them right now

have been for years

but this tea won't come to warm me up

and I'm forced to shiver and shake

I pop the kettle on and grab my cup

it’s an old fashioned kettle

on an old fashioned stove

so it takes longer than most

while it boils I’ll busy myself to pass the time

maybe wash a few dishes

or tidy up the kitchen

or empty the bin

or vacuum the rug

you know how it goes

anything but go outdoors

a watched pot never boils so it’s best to look away

and usually that's easy to do

but lately when I pop the kettle on

I’m forced to pull up a chair and watch

to do nothing else but sit and stare

as the stove grows warm

watching the flames lap up

watching the condensation appear

hearing the water inside start to bubble

as the air inside start to rise

and make it's first whistling escape

and I sit and stare at the kettle

waiting for that whistle to come

because I’m not allowed to do anything else

but it never comes

the kitchen stays silent

and after a while when it still hasn’t boiled

I wonder if something might be wrong

yet I question myself

does it always take this long?

I know eventually when it’s done

I’ll have a delicious cup of tea

and it will all be worthwhile

and I’ll chastise myself for being impatient

and I know I should be grateful

for having have something to drink

when I’m told others have nothing and go thirsty

but it’s hard to think of that while I’m sat here

watching this kettle

seemingly waiting forever

and get this

I don’t know how much water is in it

or what setting the hob is on

so I have no idea how long it will take

and I’m waiting for so long I don’t even want it anyway

but I have to sit and wait

and drink it nonetheless

I can’t distract myself

to make the wait seem shorter

I have to sit and wait for the kettle to boil

who knows how long it will take

but apparently it’s all for my own good

apparently we're all in it together

which is nice for those who say so

they have fancy kettles

and people to make tea for them

I start to wonder if the stove is broken

but I’m not allowed to check

that would be against the rules

why can’t I just drink something else instead?

why can’t I just get on with my day and take the kettle off?

why can’t I just check if something is wrong?

I'm told it's against the rules

I have to stay alert

so I just play along

I’m an Englishman don’t forget

we love our tea and we love to wait in line

and we love to do as we're told

and do nothing about it

other than sit at home and have a moan

and think back to better times

when we weren't in it together

but when we were all happier apart

so I try to get comfortable

I’m not very happy about it

but I do nothing but moan

I know my place

sat in my chair

I continue to stare

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