Inspirations

I devote Hope To You:

You've gotten me this far. I devote it all to you like a bonsai plant devotes its first life to my love and care.

You are the reason I've survived.

You are the reason these words have been written

And the sun keeps shining everyday

Everytime I keep you in my life

I dedicate it all to you

To My family: Mum, she taught me poetry since I was a little girl, for being a critique and pushing me to my limits.

My Dad, who supports me morally and gives me constant advice for my health and well-being.

I thank my sister, Tat, for being my best friend and for her moral support.

I'd like to thank my brother, Josh for supporting me emotionally and encouraging me to continue writing my next book. His actions and living with him inspired me to write.

To my mentor, who taught me to be honest with my writing, and to always write everyday and to look at failure as the beginning of success. The way I see it, every event is a blessing in disguise. I find that they improve my writing and poetry and inspire my creativity.

I also devote it to all the writers out there who are inspirations, and of course to all my readers who are lovers and respecters of poetry.

I'd like to thank those, and to anyone, any situation which has inspired me to write a story or poem.

Introduction:

I write poetry to release feelings, to let go of problems and to hope for what's inside of my head to come true. I believe that if we ask for something, and believe it, then we may receive it.

I believe that if we release our gratefulness then we will receive more in return. I do thris through my poetry.

My faith, hope and feelings express themselves on paper in poetry, short stories, songs and journal entries. Writing is a part of my journey through life. These are my honest words. Please enjoy.

CHAPTER 1 - LOVE

Our Forever Love

A poem devoted to the start of my journey of love. It was my first time. I dedicate it to him. I give my gratitude and love towards him for his generosity. It is a vision of our first moments of love. It describes the peak of our relationship.

Our bodies. My love. Your devotion. My emotion. Your generosity. Our forever love. So powerful. Moving slowly peacefully in tandem. Like yo ha kyu. We are amazing. The balance of life. You and I unite. Bodies to bodies. Palms to palms. Closed eyes.Lips together. Forehead to forehead. Breath to breath. Our hearts beating to a rythm. Moving in synchrony. Our forever love. Our forever love.

Music To My Ears

When I listen to a relaxing composition it reminds me of one that my love would be playing to me in the past and I imagine that he and I are on our own little island together amongst each other's paradise listening to the sound of each other's amazing voices. The most beautiful sound on Earth is his voice. It is like enchanting music to my ears.

I hear the music. Music you played for me so long ago. Contentment I felt so long ago. Sweet music, soft music playing in my ears. I see us on the island. Music I spoke of with you plays in my ears. I see us on the island imagining. Staring into your eyes listening to you. The music from your voice plays to me. Like music to my ears Enchanting. You are an orchestra playing a symphony. I'm in love again. I missed us. And the music continues to play. Oh run away with me. To our island. The music will play. Softness, relaxation, rythm, balance. Of us. We've reunited on our island. With music to our ears.

The love within us

This poem is about my second love and I. We are both water signs and we're very connected. We started off as friends and became lovers afterwards so it was very gradual just like a love story. Because of my love of the ocean and connection with it I tend to write about the ocean and familiarize love with ocean.

It grows slowly. Our love, slowly. Waves from the ocean. Rushing love. The love within us. Peaceful, sound. A calm tide breaks at shore. Beneath the ocean. I am a turtle. You are the seahorse. Dancing together. The love within us. Love in your eyes mirror the ocean. The coral, colours of the sea. The love within us.

We Are The Milkyway

I devote these words to my second love. My idealism lead me to believe we would have been united like the milky way andI described our love as a metaphor of universal energy and the cosmos. I imagined everything for us.

You And I dance around. We are combining like a spiral. We are the milkyway galaxy. We are combining. We are the love. We are the galaxy. This is our universe. From the heart. From the soul. Our courtship grows like the milkyway. Our love is the milkyway. The universe surrounds us. The Earth within us. It is growing, evolving. Like complimentary colours. We are one together, combining. You and I. Dancing 'round each other. We are the milky way. We have created our galaxy. You And I. We are the milky way. Forever...

CHAPTER 2 - TRAGEDY

The Magician

A poem written for the man who started to fade from my life, my first love...at a very naive time in my life. You seem to be alluring as the magician I see in the tarot I read.

Scandals, secrets, tricks and lies. You are a magician wearing a disguise. My body, eyes, spirit pulled in. Attracted by this mask you wear. Allured and fooled. The magician and me. At a table playing games. The magician and me, what a fool. So ignored by the magician. He has ears for another. So adoring a magician. So blinded by this mask. So broken apart...I am his no more.

In a private room the mask comes alive again. His teeth and eyes glare at me. I see right through a mirror in disguise. Run away from your fate, before the magician pulls out another card. Deception, betrayal and dishonesty. Be strong, save yourself. From the magician you fell for before he returns with new magic tricks to lure you in with. I am his no more.

Broken Apart

i feel so insecure...the outside influences are causing me angst and because I'm vulnerable there's nowhere to go but to hide. I want to run away with you and get away from them, but we are slipping awau...a break up no more.

We are beside each other in a darkened room. Our bodies so near. YOur soul miles from mine. Wd are distances apart. As I point my finger to reach yours, our souls do not connect. We are a broken egg losing all the love inside. We've created from the day we first met. I feel us breaking apart. I'm so fearful now. All hope is lost. A gaping hole in my heart. Envisioning an image of hope. I seek my higher faith. He reaches out. My idol flies me to the heavens above. I'm gliding now. You watch me as I float away from us. Let me go. We've already broken apart.

Buried Emotions

I tried to return it but it just sat there, the piece of jewellery that necklace staring at me. I felt you staring at me, watching my every move, judging me. I could not move on. So all I could do was to get rid of it, of you. And the outcome was instead of getting rid of you, it made me long for you. I suffered a year of pain and heartache. Whenever your name was mentioned I could not speak. The guilt left me cursed. I tried to re-enact it in my mind. It was no use. I could not understand what had happened.

My emotions buried with the necklace. An image of him attaching it to my neck. I cannot recover it. Both lost for the greater good. A necklace buried now. Once around my neck, choking me. Emotions buried and lost inside my soul. The signs point to the heavens. I will surrender. My name calls upon me. And the necklace means no more. The necklace. Now a piece of junk. A trinket of deceit. Sorrows, anguish, resentment gone like the wind. Repressed like the rubbish in my mind. The signs point to the heavens. I will surrender. Flexibility is the key. The necklace means no more. Both of you are buried now. Far too deep in the ground. Disintegrating from my mind. He's now faded from my mind. And like a calm mist. I feel at peace now.

I Need to Get Over You Now

To my second love...our relationship was very uncertain and I felt very insecure throughout half of it. I tried to come up with explanations in my mind of why it ended. One was that you tried to replace me as a rebound girl. The reality was there was an attraction between us. My subconscious overcomes my problems with dreams. And the summer camp at the docks was one.

A 5:15am gasp for air. The repetitive sob and call for your name. The vividness of you. It was only a dream. Punching numbers. Busy tone. Truth be told. You are gone. Even when we were one. I felt ignored. I need to get over you now. The morning before. A similar story. Sobbing like a desperate beggar. But not just a dream. A goodbye at the docks. You left me by boat. Like a foreigner. Our romance lasted as long as a summer camp. A short breeze passing us by.Let the truth unfold. We were each others rebounds. But I imagined you were my universe. Now that you are gone. I need to get over you now. I believed our love would last eternity. Your faith did not mirror mine. Another girl was on your mind. On the tip of your tongue. Anxieties, fears, insecurities are noth worth the pain of suicide. I will not take these pills because of you. I'd rather love myself. And now that we're all over. I will lick my wounds. And I am over you now.

To My Love

I was a little idealistic with you my love. I also misheard things you would say and take them seriously. After we reunited the first time you told me a couple of times we should meet up together halfway. I travelled halfway but you did not. It broke my heart, because our relationship was better long distance. We lost contact. I'm still heartbroken.

Crossing lands. Plan of reuniting. Idealistic thoughts floating. Hopes and dreams leading to pain. Stone sinking into my skin and body. I cannot take back regrets. But I can repent my sins. My forgiveness will erase my anguishes. We need to converse. At least about old times. To mend the fault. To heal my wounds. My love remains. A wish upon a star for us. To meet again. And start anew, afresh. To become one again. Like the day we first met. Our life ended so abruptly, like a sudden death. I should save myself. I'm walking through a nightmare. Wake up now. My feelings discarded into the ocean. And buried deep in the dirt. I will cleanse this love I have for you. I'm finally rid of you from my system. All our ties are cut completely. Eeking pain mirroring the day we ended it. I'm walking away from you now. The unfinished business is finally finished. Farewell my friend. I'm free from your rope.

These Silent Tears

I still want him in my life. He is still the centre of my universe, my great friend, my true love from the past. I feel sadness and heartbreak because of the realisation that my love is not here yet. I imagine him by my side comforting me. I am ashamed of these sorrows. "I know the real you would not approve, but only run away so I want these tears to go away before you return."

Tears flow out. A daily curse. These silent tears. A whisper to him. Tears flow out. No existence of him. A voice in my head. I lay my head low. Hiding my guilt, my shame. Who is this beast within me? But the pain is so great like a ball stuck in my throat. These silent tears continue to flow out. A waterfall, no less. The rose is wilting. And my silent tears show a life of pain. I am avoided like a plague. The pain is sorrow. The pain is loneliness. Of longing for him. For them. But they are far from my reach. Like a pet I had lost long ago. And I imagine them by my side. I imagine them speaking to me. Thoughts rising to a pinnacle. Of eternity. These silent tears fall out. Drop by drop by drop. These silent tears. Oh...Go away.

Until I Let You Go I'll Be Free

I've built up this resentment against you and confined myself amongst these walls so isolated. I need to accept this situation and see it as a blessing in disguise. As soon as I break free from these crumbling walls I will discover myself and revisit paradise.

Until I let you go I will be free. My tears will stop flowing. The rain will stop falling. And the rainbows will appear. Until I let you go I will be free. I will be free as the rainbow. I will no longer be the chained bird. Until I hold onto something new. I will be free. Until I let you go. You were the best there ever was. No other beauty in the universe could compare. Nothing new could replace you. A first love lasts the life of a tattoo. I am but another hoping for love. My plead is rejected. Until I let you go I will be free. A year flies by. Asking for kinship. A friendship with you. Here I sit in this cave. Locked up and imprisoned. Behind these bars. I cannot escape. Until I let you go I will be free. But you're already gone. Distances ahead. You've flown free now. So I'll let you go now. I must break free now. Spread my wings. Have faith again. Until the day I break free. A gust of wind that opens the jail door will set me free.

I Will Cry From Awe

My dearest first love, you made me into the person I am today, a perfectionist. You are on my mind all of the time but I need to let you go and move on. This obsession of keeping your things is not allowing me to live so it must be discarded and I will revisit our favourite places and past moments once again for one last goodbye. And yes I did cry from awe.

If only I could hug you once more. If only I could hold you once more. If I could hear your voice, I'd cry from awe. As I set my surroundings, I imagine you. I go back in time. And remember us. The aromas, the feelings, our surroundings. You were everything. My teacher, my mentor, the world. You were my friend. my lover. my universe. I adored you like a servant adores her prince. You seem to overpower my mind. Every new perfection of mine, is a perfection of yours. I have now become you. You are my obsession. And I need to let you go. But the day you arrive, I will cru from awe, I will cry from awe. I need to move on from this unhealthy obsession. I see your spirit turning your back to me. My hand is reaching. The lights are dimming. The tears are flowing. But the day you return, I will cry from awe.

CHAPTER 3 - REMINISCENCE

Home is On The Island

All I want to do is run away. I feel so overly controlled, by my family, by the world, but I let it all happen. I need to find peace within myself and within the world. The materialistic world is draining me. I must go back to my roots. My universe and the Earth are my friends now. They are my protectors and guardians. I feel safe in their arms as well as my own.

But I've found my island, the muddy place where I belong. I've learnt to cope with stresses and appreciate the abundance of life, to move with the natural movement of life. It's taken a long train ride of self discovery, knowledge, experience, battles, and forgiveness to get here, but I've made it. I also know we are on a continual journey in life of growth. I still have goals I want to achieve for me to gain fulfillment and reach the peak of the mountain on that island.

Let Me Go. Let me live in a land of peace and quiet. Where birds sing me to sleep. Where the water runs between rocks in a stream. Where the trees cover the skies to protect me. I want to be free. I want to be at peace with the Earth, the trees, the sky, and the moon. I want to be buried in the Earth. Surrounded by nature, all living things. There my body will stay and my spirit will become one with the universe. It will be free from unpleasant emotions. I need to survive but not here. Perhaps in the oceans far off. I'm dreaming. A secluded cold beach with dark muddy sand. And grey skies. Large waves covered me. Threw me onto a far off island. Strange things are here. Unreal things. A mysterious presence. Found nowhere. But here on the island. I needed to find my place in the world. And it is not there. There is not home. I think it is here. On that train ride. It lead me to that unusual place. My island. I felt lost in it. That place was here. I feel safe here. Home is over here. Home is on the island. I found my place finally. I found my island. My island. Home is on the island.

I Mourn For You

I'm not over my past loves and it is haunted me, it is hindering me from performing well. I need to pick myself up and become the confident woman I once was before I met them, before I had them in my life, to forgive myself and to accept the situation as well as my emotion.

I cry for you every day. I mourn for you as if you've passed away. I wonder of your existence. I search for your presence. I mourn for you. No trace remains. You have left this world. You have left my life. I mourn for you. You who have chosen to flee far from me. I mourn for you. I mourn for the ones. They've chosen to abandon me. There's no comfort around me. I cannot force their love upon me. But I am in love with them. they are my ex's. I must forgive and forget my vices my demons. I must overcome. They were my pets. My animals. I loved you so deeply. Negligence caused our loss. Sadness, regrets...Nothing can turn back time. I hope to look out for you. In my mind. Instead, here I am mourning for them. Dying from within. Wilting away into skin and bone. But I need to pick myself up. And be a winner. Once again I need the confident woman. Once again. I can be strong once again. I will be confident. So I will let go. So I will let go. And I will mourn no more.

Fears and Anguish When I'm Alone

There is a person in my life that is like a shining star. Whenever I think of them, or whenever there is a person who reminds me of them or looks like them I am. So if I am feeling down and I meet someone who is as magical as that person my spirits are lifted. There is not a worry in the world. And all I want to do is be around that person. Also, I tend to know that I will be safe and cared for if I give a little of myself to the world and get rid of my anxieties that way by focusing my love and energy on others instead of only myself.

Feelings of fear. Feeling of anguish. Life is not ok. Life is brighter. The sun reminds me of you. Feelings of fear. Feelings of anguish dissipate. My fears all fade. Life invites me a chance in time, I'm sent a mirror image of my true love. So long as you were are near. In my mind. I am content. You are safe with me. I find my way. To run away. In my mind. To our place in time. I find my way. To run away. In my mind. To our place in time. Another world. A new dimension. We are standing facing each other. The fears the anguish. Are lost in translation. I've found a solution. Go back in time. And bring you with me here. My hope, faith is with you. I am in the present. Free from anguish. Free from fear. Free from anxieties.

The Lost Spirit

I am lonely and longing for the one whom I have lost. Although I can't see you in front of me, I feel your spirit. You appear every now and then and it brings me joy, but I am saddened when you disappear just like the day you disappeared from my life.

Please come back to me. I beg for you to return. My love for you grows. Higher than any mountain. Farther than any sea. Tears flow out. Day and night. Streaming from loneliness.Living ina noctropolis. As strangers pass me by. Please come back to me. My lost spirit. I beg of you to return. I'm a hermit in a shell. Waiting for you to fill the space. Come back. Be the sea horse by my side. And laugh with me. Like dolphins do. A promise will be made. The day of your return. I'll cherish you like the rarest pearl in the ocean. Please come back to me. My lost spirit. I beg of you to return. Seven versions of you appeared in my life recently. It filled me with joy, purity and peace. But when the illusion faded. And the void returned. I kept mourning for you on a raw winters night. Oh. Please come back to me lost spirit. Enter through these doors. Like a lost spirit. Who's found his Body and Mind. My love is only for you. My spirit and I'm grateful for our past time.

A Search for The Lost Spirit

This is the sequal to the lost spirit. Every story needs a sequal. It needs a final hope and happy ending. In this story she finally meets with her love. Even though he is a spirit they will always be combined as one and this keeps her whole as a person. In the past she denied their unity but losing him brought a realisation that he is her other half, her soul mate. They belong together, even if it means death to them both.

To find her love she needed to find him in spirit first before seeking out his physical form, imagining that his spirit his holy form was with her. This poem goes out to him.

A search for the lost spirit. Who's been lost, for two years. I cry for him. But can't hear him. Answer my prayers. Does he exist in this world? My questions questions stir. I must know my persistence invigorates. A search for the spirit. Who's been lost for two years. Where is he now. I need his presence in front of me. The wind makes me. My prayers are answered. My lamp crashes to the ground. It's a sign. The spirit enters. Not lost but found. His presence above me. My spiritual friend. Forever within my grip. His sight, my sound, his touch. My feelings, His senses. So faint to me. Yet so alive in spirit. His positive energy radiates into our love. We are in heaven tonight. We shall resurrect. As mind body spirit. He's my mind. I'm his body We are one now. Mind body spirit.

CHAPTER 4 - HOPE

The Sea Shepherd

The sea shepherd was my first love. this was his saintly nickname because he supported the cause. He's always been one for the ocean life so I bless him and let him be with his ocean marine life wishing him the tranquil life he deserves, even though one day I hope he does return the way I remember him.

I hear a call. In the distance. His voice. So soft and sweet. Nostalgia. reminiscence. The sea shepherd floating away. A shepherd in remembrance. But only to return in spirit form. The sea shepherd. He has returned. In front of me. But not the one I seek. Disappointed and lost. My tears prevail. A walk to the docks. On the dark cold night. I feel his memory pass over me. The sun slowly dawning. The moonlight lights up my face. The sea spills melancholic tears deep within me. My sea shepherds safe within God's arms. Safe with his underwater life. Until he returns. He's where he belongs. Soon my sea shepherd. You will say my name with your angel's voice. Soon my sweet shepherd. So softly call my name.

The journey will last forever

I believe that my former friend and I will always have a bonding friendship for the rest of our lives until the day we die. Even when I had no hope there was no contact between us. I imagined a bonding time in our lives and had hope that our love and friendship will make a comeback and last forever. That in my mind it is lasting because I imagine him as my friend in my mind. He's been my friend in the past and my lover and he'll always be my friend and love to me for the rest of my days.

Laying on his lap. Resting my head. So comfortable now. Eyes glazing. He asks what am I thinking. I'm just staring. Day dreaming. His sweet eyes. His noble smile. A handsome prince. A gentleman. Wrapping myself around him. Exchanging looks and smiles. Much public affection. There's love between us. The train crosses the bridge. We're over the ocean. Dolphins beneath us. Gracefully diving. As the trains nearing a stop. I'm becoming needier. I want to keep him in my sight. I'm holding him so tight. The station is near. Hand in hand. Head on shoulder. And a kiss on the cheek. For a sweet goodbye. But we haven't. We are like the dolphins. We journey beyond stations. We are long lost lovers. Who've barely known one another. We are fresh like a spring morning. And this journey will last forever.

Find Me

Hope, longing, melancholy, all feelings I expressed to search for my first love. I always believed I had a hope and a vision in my mind that my love will find me. In my mind though it was a vivid fantasy slowly growing into a dreaming reality and eventually grew into reality. My love did find me, hence my clairvoyance redeeming itself.

Find me. Take me away. To your land. A mystical place. I've dreamt of. Sail us away. To the other side. To the blue lagoon. To paradise. We are always by my side. It's our paradise. We've each other. A fresh new start. Hope has renewed itself. Clairvoyance revealed itself.

Frozen and Guilty

I was in love with my neighbour but afraid to reveal that love for him, afraid to be honest to him, afraid for I knew that the truth was he had his wholeness in his life. I could not interfere and I kept that idea in my head and that misery so I would not become hurt , and so I would not hurt others. But deep inside I was hurting, when I saw him and didn't reveal. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I could not because I was afraid of rehection. So, I froze everytime. Eventually, once he left I let out a burst of tears and released my feelings through this poem.

In love with perfection. Platonic thoughts. In love with kindness. Guilty thoughts. Fear, guilt and loss. Lack of action. Frozen and guilty. Images occurring. Fears returning. She's returning. I want him. Take me away. I want out. To that far off land. Walls between us. Disappearing. Your sweet voice fading. No more imagining. Remembering. Oh dear...missing you. Kindness is your strength. A knock at my door. A last goodbye. A belief to meet again. You will call my name again. Fear, guilt, to reveal my love.

The Hero She Always Wanted

My hero is a former love of mine who I was longing for, I needed him in my life. Everytime I'd have the brightest of days I'd imagine telling him about it, but when I was in trouble I wanted him to save me. So finally I called him whence I was in trouble and he surprisingly came to my rescue.

My past resentments were discarded and forgiveness and peace has only filled my heart before the call. I had hope of his return, a vision. When he did arrive the feeling was true gratitude and awe. I had been given a hero, a knight in shining armour.

Regrets are slowly fading. These words have kept her alive. They gave her hope. Regrets from the past slowly eroding. I wanted you to find me. I did it all so you would call me. And you have found me. And my hero is reborn. He is returning. Words sustained hope. The hero stand before me. That shining light. You are the hero from my dreams. My hero stands before me. He hands me all his glory. I feel his touch upon my body. My hero and I finally arrived.

My lucky star.

CHAPTER 5 - FAITH

My Spiritual Friend

My spiritual friend, my soulmate, I imagine your presence in front of me. You had taken care of me when I recovered from this ailment of mine. I was saved by the light, but in these times of sadness and suffering you disappeared. I want to follow you through the light to be safe forever.

We are one together. My spiritual friend. We reunite forever. My spiritual friend. It is our time now. As we pray and meditate...together. Your spirit streams inside my body. As we lay our heads low. As we pray, breathing. And meditate. Forever shall we hold our peace. My spiritual friend. At first I prayed for your return. You did. Now you're here in front of me. You take my hand and we dance around. You are my spiritual friend. Will you take me to that forest. The forest where I saw the orange light. Our forest where we will reunite. I was meant to leave when I was there. But all the faces took me away. They awoke me. I want to be with you forever and always. Far off in that land. Where the autumn trees are. I will go through the light. And be where you are. It's the only way for us to see. I want to go with you. My spiritual friend. Take me away with you. Until the very end. We are one together. Forever and ever. In heaven together. Amen.

The Perfection Of Life

I'm so obsessed with you. I'm awaiting for your return, living my life yet sitting here patiently. So I will act as you, take on your mannerisms, I will become you, so that way I shall not miss you anymore. I am now a mirror image of you. So perfect...so powerful...

I found you today. I prayed to you yesterday. I envisioned you in my mind. I believed you returned. Here you lay before me. I feel you. The mirror image of me. The perfection of life. Your name. A million times spoken. Until you returned. I'm dreaming. Wake up. The emptiness has been filled. I am whole again. Humble, innocent and sweet. You entered my life like a miracle. Magically appearing. Handing me your brains, suaveness. You push me toward the light. I push myself further. To reach perfection. A perfection of life. A perfection of you. The mirror of you. I am now mirroring you. We are the perfection of life.

My Sea Shepherd Has Returned

A surprising call and visit from my long lost friend and former love who I lost contact with. It literally felt like I lost him, and metaphorically felt I lost him far off at sea. I use the ocean as a description of most of my poetry. It had stolen him away from me, but I had decided to accept it. Once he had returned I gained my faith back in God and became a whole person once again.

A message received. A signal. So surprising. So close by. It conveys 'old friend'. A sea shepherd. I drop to the ground. And cry from awe. To thank my God. My prayers have been answered. My sea shepherd Has returned. I reply to my love. And hear an angel's voice calling. We try to reach each other. We seek to find each other. Soon my Sea Shepherd. The seas are too rough right now. The signal is weak. But you will reach me. And I will reach you. I will meet you there. We will met soon. My sea shepherd who has returned.

CHAPTER 6 - INSPIRATION

Our Perfect Souls Combined

You talk to me in my sleep, and sensually touch me, always describing my beauty, always comforting and consolling me. I'm asleep, but you and I, we are in our own heavenly reality. I don't want to awake from this fantasy world. I am the princess and I know you will return the following night.

The Perfect soul who picks me up at night. those strong arms. That sexy body. That sensual touch. those soft kisses. So perfect. My sweet Prince. The blonde locks. The rugged look. My love for him rises above the clouds. And He appears in my dreams. In spirit. It's real. It's him. My king.Obeying every command. Appreciating every compliment. Leading me to his safe haven. Our perfect souls combined. I'm his. He's mine forever. We are one always. Our perfect souls combined.

I Can Finally See It

I love you. I realise that there is still hope for us and our future. We were so happy and sound together, in the memories we had together. You are the only man I dream of. You speak to me in my dreams and thoughts. You give me advice and console me when I'm hurt. You love me so deeply. You are my soulmate. And now we are united to be together forever...

I Can Finally See it. I can finally see us. Cos there's nobody else in the picture. Only you and me. "We look good together" Folks were saying. And now I see it. Realisation comes. When the past loves are gone. So now it's just us. Our peaceful time together will last a lifetime. By each other's sides for eternity. Just like in the picture. As I look at us. I believe its meant to be. I can see it happening. Images of us. Like de ja vu. The picture says it all. I can finally see it. Those tormenting us. Have left us be. Gone from our minds. Gone from our life. I can finally see it. We are now in paradise. We are forever in our eutopia. Our pinnacle of love. A love to long for. With you, only you. I have foreseen the foreseeable.

I Love A Man Like You

I'm so devoted to you, yet you are so unattainable...It is so hard to let any other man in for I have a tendency to compare him to you. But my dearest if that man reminds me of you I'd fall head over heels for him instantaneously.

Nina. write often. Do not be afraid to be honest. Were the words of my hero. And here I am being honest for him. I live through him all of the time to please his every word. He is my hero. My friend. My companion. I live for him. I love him. Now and forever. He's the only man who doesn't scare me. So when a man comes along. An reminds me of him. I love that man too.

Invent It

I was inspired by a quote my Mum said to me, "Invent it, Nina". I watched a French film called Moliere based on the playright. It touched me in one of the last emotional scenes of the film. Elmire, the woman Moliere fell in love with was dying in bed and said those words to him, "Invent it." I feel we must invent our future and imagine it before it happens that way we will have a clear picture in our minds and we are ready for what is ahead. Also, inventing it replaces the losses of what isn't there. It fills that emptiness for a certain amount of time so that we are ready for reality.

Invent it Nina. Invent it...Invent my future. He will come to me. He will return. My king. The pictures will be drawn. Us side by side. Once again Invent it. My jealousy has faded. And my love has returned. My hope is reborn. Springing into something new. I am happy once again. my future is invention. Creating stories in my mind. We are celebration. The truth in unfolding. The King stands before me once again. The king takes her hand. Squeezes it ever so tightly. Like before. Always together forever. Contentment remains. She is grounded. Safe and sound. In his arms once again. He is by her side once again. Always by her side. A love they had 1000 years ago. Safety is within him right there. My future has been written, my past remembered. And the King is yet to return. He's in my past, and returning in my future, my king. I love you my dear.

In His Arms

To my true love, one day you will enter my life like you have before in my dreams. You and I belong together. I have a strong faith and vivid vision we will unite as one.

I'll finally await his return. My king, My king. When he returns to my shore to meet me once again. I'll be in awe. The day we meet. He takes my hand. We exchange stares and smiles. My king crouches down to grip my hand. Pull me up to safety. From this cliff I've been hanging from. I've climbed so high. Travelled so far and so wide. To reach him. We made it my king. I'm held ever so tightly against his body. In his arms. Safe in his arms. My king. I love you my dear forever and ever, Amen.

My Number One Fan

My number one fan. You are adoration, love. My number one fan. Until we meet again. The night at Coral Bay looking up at the stars. My number one fan. Love, peace. Serenity, connection. My hope. It's arrived. Like a surge of power rushing through my body. My faith its appeared. I see the road ahead. Crystal clear. So vivid so real. My life in front of me. My number one fan. He follows me. And we're picture perfect. How I've envisioned it. Letting go of the past. Holding onto the future. Becoming true to myself. Following the golden road. I owe it to you. My number one fan.

The Discovery

I have discovered who is truly important in my life. It is my true love. He has appeared in my thoughts and dreams. I feel our universal connection, a bonding even though we are worlds apart. He is always by my side.

My faith emerged when I discovered you. My faith prevails when I'm with my love. My intuition. My longing all stew from you. The connection between us has always been real. We are combined. You And I. The man I love. The discovery. I grow stronger everyday. We are connected. Always have been. Always by my side. My discovery. You are a part of me.