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(In)Convenience Fee

Ongoing endemic legal thievery

By Andrew C McDonaldPublished 6 months ago 1 min read
(In)Convenience Fee
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Nice t0 relax on the couch and order a new toy

Pay the bills whist pouring the soy

But something I didn’t order from my account keeps coming

Every time I push the pay now button

My water bill is $52.95 total for 4 weeks

Yes, I know the sink still leaks

But that’s not the trouble of which I speak

It’s this added fee line my logic center seeks

$52.95 comes out as a juicy $62

For no valid reason, a service they don’t do

They pull extra of my money they haven’t earned

Thumbing noses at a public spurned

Yes, a convenience fee is just a self serve

Charged by thieves with quite a nerve

They think our sense not encyclopaedic

Might as well get a hand job from a quadriplegic

Without giving a single frill or thrill

They add extra fees to all my bills

They say it’s for making payment more easy

Just a push of a button, easy peasy

Who made it easy? Not water company nor JC Penney

Mayhap Bill Gates or some nerd named Lenny

Yeah, it’s quick and not too hard

I don’t have to lug kids out to the yard

But.. for whom is this fee actually convenient?

On whom does it make life more lenient?

They don’t have to pay as many clerks

They don’t have to face the Public’s many quirks

They can have a simple automated transaction

Do what once took many hands action

Their wage expense is cut right down

They don’t even have to be in town


Notwithstanding the people replaced by a machine

Now on the dole, you know what I mean

Seems to me paying on line is just a win win

But charging me for it is a financial sin

It’s merely a soft type of quiet sneaky theft

To make my bank account more bereft

While they bank from their own comfy couch

We need a legal Eagle who isn’t a slouch

A class action law suit should be filed

So they stop charging us so silly a fee, it’s wild

Charged Just Beacause They Can

While we consumers stick our heads in the sand

social commentary

About the Creator

Andrew C McDonald

Andrew McDonald is a 911 dispatcher of 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain.


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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (3)

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  • Brenton F6 months ago

    A brilliant piece addressing an issue many of us know or have felt - Good Job!

  • That is so wrong! The convenience is definitely not for us! I'm so glad you decided to write a poem about this!

  • Real Poetic6 months ago

    Oooooo this is good! Convenient fees have never been convenient for my wallet either.

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