If I Was To Go

If on this dreary night my life were to expire

I would apologize for being weak and tired

I'd tell my closest friends at least I tried

I would tell them of all my deepest lies

I'd unveil the secrets I felt forced to hide

I would reveal the thoughts inside my mind

I'd speak on every reason I've cried

I would tell of every tear that dried

I'd finally be open and honest

I would say sorry for each broken promise

I'd tell you of my fears from when I was a kid

I would speak of every sin I've kept hid

I'd be a hypocrite to tell another to be happy

I would instead tell of my lifes tragedies

I'd hope these memories carry on til the end

I would tell my friends I couldn't be strong

I'd eventually own up to what I did being wrong

I've been barely making it each day. For the next to seem so long. I need the escape; the freedom to never be harmed. Moments of peace that last forever. A nirvana where I would never be alarmed. So If on this night I'd forever be missed. I know I've left memories to reminisce. When I close these eyes for just one last time. Know I'm at peace and I'm finally fine.

-Shalløw