If I Was Her

The aching judgement against domestic abuse victims.

If I Was Her

If I was her, I'd just leave.

If I was her, I wouldn't let him back in.

If I was her, I'd give up.

If I was her, I'd put my kids first.

If I was her, I'd call the police.

If I was her, I wouldn't be surprised if I had no friends left.

If I was her, I'd deserve it.

It's her own fault for not leaving.

It's her own fault for allowing him to bully her.

It's her own fault for having hope.

It's her own fault, it takes two.

It's her own fault for isolating herself.

It's her own fault for wasting her life.

But you aren't her. And it's not her fault.

___________________________

She is brave for still waking up every morning.

She is brave for having so much forgiveness.

She is brave for having that much hope in a person.

She is brave for speaking her truth.

She is brave for still trying to maintain her friendships.

She is brave for trying so hard to rescue another.

She is brave.

___________________________

If I were him, I would take a look in the mirror.

If I were him, I would question my abusive nature.

If I were him, I would seek urgent help.

If I were him, I would tell the truth to others about who the real problem is.

If I were him, I would use every moment of my day to learn to change.

If I were him, I would stop blaming her.

But I am not him. And thank God I'm not.

_________________________

Thank God you aren't her.

Thank God you don't question your sanity.

Thank God you are on the outside.

Thank God you can make a judgement.

Thank God you are safe.

Thank God you aren't fearing the door opening tonight.

Thank God you aren't her.

__________________________

I am her. Today. Years on.

If I could go back, I would run.

If I could go back, I would open my eyes.

If I could go back, I'd have left him there.

If I could go back, I'd save my friendships.

If I could go back, I would still be sane.

If I could go back, I'd have gone on the pill.

If I could go back, I'd save my own life.

But I can't.

It isn't my fault.

It never was.

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Jessica Murray
Jessica Murray
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