If I Could Turn Back Time

by Jane Smith about a year ago in love poems

I would choose you.

If I Could Turn Back Time

If I could turn back time

I would have done things differently

I would have trusted my heart

And not listened to my head

Ignored those nagging thoughts of being hurt again

I loved you, I loved you so much

I wanted to believe in a life together

But the past had made me mistrust

Past relationships imprinted on my brain

I made the wrong choice

I was too risk adverse

Fearful of being hurt

What if it happened again

I was scared of looking a fool

By trusting in love

I hate myself for that

For ruining my future with you

I was hard like concrete

You had no chance of getting through

I have so many regrets

When I think of what we could have had

Of our future together

Years later and I still cry for my loss

I grieve for what could have been

When will the tears stop?

If I could turn back time

I would have said yes

To a life together, to be a family

I would have made a home

So rich in love

I would have been a mother to your sons

I would have had the daughter I dreamed of

We talked so much about her

Your skin colour, my eye colour

We already knew what she would look like

Beautiful, like an angel, a product of our love

My heart breaks when I think of her

My imaginary girl

That was my first mistake

Not believing in you

Not believing in dreams coming true

The biggest mistake though was letting you go

Telling you to get out

When I didn't really want you to go

I couldn't bear to be humiliated again

I told you to leave even though it broke my heart

I held that pain inside for so long

I am still holding on to some

I keep thinking I am done

But the well is deep

I miss you so much

My beautiful man, my James

My one true love

I made many mistakes

You did too

But if I knew then what I know now

I would have forgiven you

I would have asked for forgiveness

Learnt from those lessons

And grown up with you

I miss you

I miss your sons

I miss your brothers and sisters

I miss the possibilities

I miss my future with you

I missed my chance

My biggest mistake

Drove you into the arms of another

You look happy

You now have the life we could have had

I hope you still love me

Still fondly remember

I was so sure we were destined to be together

But it will never be now

The timing will never be right again.

If I could turn back time

I would have chosen a different path

Loving you was the best thing I ever did

The happiest days of my life

I was just broken, into too many pieces

And you couldn't put me together again

I had to do that

It has taken a long time to understand

Too late of course

For you and me

But now I have found myself

I know who I am

I have healed

Put the pieces back together

I have grown into an amazing woman

So much love to give

So much kindness to share

Peace in my heart

I know you would be proud to be by my side

To maybe even have called me your wife

I don't want anybody else

I hope to meet you again my love, in the next life.

If I could turn back time

I would choose you

Every time.

love poems
Jane Smith
Jane Smith
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Jane Smith

I write my feelings, my secrets, my distress and my desires. All my stories are true. I have bipolar disorder so my life is like a thousand lives in one. Writing is therapy for me. I hope you enjoy my stories and poetry.

See all posts by Jane Smith