I Will:

You came into my dreams,

transparent, as raindrops

No clout-

When your legs

feel like jello,

crawling up stairway

like the carpet is

slip and slide...

A single porcelain throne,

stretches like a film strip-

Sweating bullets

dry heaving,

laying on the cool vinyl

buzz like a needle,

scratched across

the top groove,

Scratches a

record-

His arms scoop me up

like a child-

Don’t you dare drop me!

I won’t, I promise!

I clutch his sweater

burying my head

in his chest-

Each step,

is like a cliff dive-

His laughter

His smile

made my eyes squint

in offense...

I hadn’t been held

like THAT

since I was a toddler

My last sober thought,

he WILL

make a good dad

one day-

Which I accidentally

blurted out-

Did you just

say my name...

Seemingly,

he came out

to the bar-

HIS eye bruised

blood shot,

GOT into a fight he swore

He laughed along,

half- heartedly,

to the sarcasm;

That was passed,

around the table

like a ping pong ball-

I felt my heart cringe,

When he said,

I remember you!

You okay?

Instinctively,

reach for his hand-

He allowed

my hand

to sit there,

like a child who forgotten

he’s doing a cheer...

Despondent

he fold into himself...

I watched him get up,

from the table

dipping before karaoke starts...

I WILL,

never not remember you

Something in his walk,

slower than a snail,

I couldn’t put my finger on it,

the energy drain surround

Or

was the vibes

from out of tune singers?

I couldn’t tell,

THIS would be

the last time,

I see him breathing-