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I, Too, Am Afraid to Own a Body, Emily

Fears that go through my head as a 21st century woman

By Bianca WargoPublished 4 years ago 1 min read
3
A painting I created using paint pens, acrylic paint, and acrylic paint mixed with baby powder. (“The Tally” Oct. 2019)

When Emily Dickinson said “I am

afraid to own a Body—“

I felt that so deep in my bones that I

Could not feel the sadness and fear—

Only numbness—as I wept.

My brother has his wounds on the outside,

But in the inside he is becoming

Whole again.

I feel as though I am about to explode

With shards of my shattered insides ready to

Fly in scattered directions.

The only thing from keeping that from happening

Is a paper-thin facade

That I am ok.

I, too, am afraid to own a Body—

Because in owning one

Others will try to control it.

Most will fail, but I have had some

Take me onto them

As if they owned me.

I have felt that fear as it happened—

As a choice was made for me that

Should’ve been none but my own

Because it is my body.

Sometimes I still feel their hands on me,

Their things inside me,

And sometimes I can’t tell which one it is—

And sometimes, it’s all of them at once.

I, too, am afraid to own a Body, Emily.

I’m afraid of how others invade me and my space,

I’m afraid of the pain that I feel with this body,

I’m afraid of the lure that my breasts, my curves, my womanly parts

Create for the predators out there.

I am afraid.

So long as I am in this mortal body,

I will always be afraid.

sad poetry
3

About the Creator

Bianca Wargo

Psychology and English Writing double major at Kean U

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Leaving my old writing up to go back sometimes and see how God's changed me to be better.

PODCAST: Gold Scars (available on Spotify & Anchor)

insta/TikTok: @biancawargo

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