I Still Love You

“I still love you.”

Those were the words I wanted so badly to say to you.

I feel them in my soul every time I look at you.

But I know what I did hurt you.

I know you can never forgive me.

I know leaving you in the summer heat with less than an explanation hurt more.

In my attempt to save you instead I killed you.

And now I have to look into your eyes and stay silent.

I want to hug you, you want to take a step back

I want to hold your hand, you’d rather keep it behind your back.

I want to give you all my trust, you want to be ready for attack.

I crave sleep because in my dreams I can see how we used to be.

It all feels so real and for once I am happy with you again.

Then I wake up with a harsh reality check.

There I am, alone and cold

When I could have been with you

“I still love you.”