I Should Have Stayed

How can someone so smart, also be so naïve.

The threats all too real, I can't perceive.

At times I think, I'll find a savior,

even if I did, he would ask for a favor.

On the dirty ground, he left me to bleed,

I am not the only one who lacks empathy.

I'm sorry that I forgot the day that you came,

I know you just wanted to mend my pain.

Still wondering what enchanted you to come my way,

Did I remind you of someone else that day?

It's not like I had anything else to break,

Never letting you in, my biggest mistake.

I'm sorry that I never gave you the chance that you deserved,

sometimes I think that for my hollow chest, you must be the cure.

Too much time has gone by, you won't look at me now,

and how I have been acting out, I am not proud.

Still always obsessing, trying to be free,

The older I get, the sweeter seventeen seems to be.

Too afraid to let you get close, yet too hurt to be left alone.

I'm getting pretty close to breaking another phone.

Does it really bother you that I'm such a flirt?

I'm just trying to live while everything hurts.

I was too afraid to stay where the dragon boats play,

Only wanting you back after I pushed you away.

You always hated how I went for the jerks,

but don't you remember? ... I never learned how chemistry works.

There was only one letter that drove me away,

Still wondering why, I was what you craved.

but if I had half the courage back then, that I do today,

I would have stayed.

I'm sorry I can never be who you wanted me to be,

but I know now, that I will always be empty.

but I won't lie to myself, so this secret I'll tell,

It's my heart going down the razor blade slide to hell.

I don't think it would have changed anything today,

but I know now that I should have stayed.