I reinvented myself today

I reinvented myself today.

Sometimes it's the only way to keep the voices at bay.

They tell me that I'm not tough, and life's too rough, and some other stuff

What it all boils down to is that I'm not enough

Not good enough

And I want some peace and quiet, just a single moment of goddamn silence

But the quiet is when they get to work—the voices, they thrive in the silence

Self-doubt is a bit of a name-caller

Confidence to Arrogance, Beautiful to Vain, Intelligent to Stuck up Bitch—do you get where I'm going with this?

I am my own antagonist

And this villain shit, I'm pretty good at it

So I go through protagonists like one might go through a pack of gum

I'm at the store like once a week and I always need a new one

So I reinvented myself today, threw the voices in my head a curveball, per se

Good luck with this one Anxiety, this version of me hasn't ever heard of propriety

Internalized Misogyny, no, you cannot throw hands with me

Dearest Depression, meet trunk of my car, now get in

Paralysis and Procrastination, keep on moving, I know it's hard, but this ain't your station

At least not today.

I reinvented myself today.

So I'm safe. For now, anyway.

I am my own antagonist though.

And like I said, this villain shit, I'm pretty good at it.

I go through protagonists like one might go through a pack of gum.

I'm going to the store next week and I will probably need a new one.

But I reinvented myself today. To keep the voices at bay.

At least, for now, anyway.

(This piece has been previously published on Teen Ink)

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