I Miss You

I see you.

Staring through an unseen TV

screen at the shadows reflected

on the back of my inner eye

I feel you.

Driving down a nameless road

with a thought stowed

away in an outstretched hand

I hear you.

Softly floating melodies

across a poorly orchestrated

tapestry, tapping strings

of the unknown and inexpressible

Where are you?

In the hardest of darkening times,

when loss and pivotal cross

examination of posturing cost

caused reevaluation of decisions

better left unmade

Where are you?

In refracted deprecation crushing

self-exasperation under hyperbolized

fault and depreciation of reflection

expanding self destruction

and inebriation of ego

Where the fuck are YOU?!

A mind is a terrible thing to waist.

A waste is a terrible thing to mind.

Make my self while I shrink myself

to who I want to have been,

Compression building effort

to culminate in an explosion of

possibility and cognizance,

Redoubling the momentum of perseverance

through dedication to preserving spirit,

The decision to be who I wish I could see

I am becoming.

...but where are you?

In all of the I, the founding of who,

the crafting of if, the lingering we,

You told me. You said without hint.

You made me, believe.

I can't hear you.

From crafting this figment

of fragile simplicity to missing,

complicit, this little by little

restitching of shattered plasticity

I can't feel you.

No matter the muse

No matter the process

No matter the truth, the guilt, the pain,

the progress

No matter the outcome of internal election

No matter how hard I stare at that reflection

I can't see you.

Where are you?

I miss me.