I'm Tired
An inspirational poem writted for a church women's conference
I'm tired.
I'm here and I'm smilng, but I'm tired.
See, I've read Proverbs 31,
But being a virtuous woman isn't all games and fun.
No matter how much I fall down and get up,
I still don't measure up. I mess up and end up
Upset, with regret, in more debt and I fret and let
The Enemy have his way.
You now, his way.
When I wake up with something to complain about every day.
When I'm just too frustrated to watch what I say.
When I only reverence my husband with submission
When I can clearly see his vision and can agree with his decisions.
You know, his way:
When I don't see my children as the blessings that they are
But the time-consuming, energy-draining little people that took me far,
Far, far away from my dreams.
You know the dreams, those shallow dreams
Of fitting into a size 7 dress without it bursting at the seams.
Yes, a flawless body used to be my aspiration,
But now my body's branded with a C-section laceration;
And just above that laceration is a squishy little pouch
That becomes a little more prominent when I slouch on my couch.
But I digress, because this really isn't about my figure or the size of my dress,
But has everything to do with me remembering to bring my tithes to church
But forgetting my offering of praise at home.
And although I can see someone needs prayer, I'd rather be left alone.
It has everything to do with fact that the praise team can pour out their hearts singing "Oceans",
But I'm just standing at my seat going through the motions.
And by going through the motions I mean halfway singing while wrangling my child
And while everyone else is on fire I'm just lukewarm or mild.
I'm tired!
I'm tired and I'm wondering why I can't chase after righteousness with ferver and energy
Like Cristy Lynn and First Lady Sister C.
I'm tired and I'm wondering why I can't be like Sister Munden or Sister Duvall.
They don't stress about anything; they just pray through it all.
I'm tired! And I'm afraid that I might fall,
And if I do what kind of example am I setting for y'all?
I'm tired because this race is all or nothing, nothing or all
And all I have to share are my flaws and maybe a friendly phone call.
I'm tired and although my face wears a smile
Just know I'm not even close to being perfect, not even by a country mile.
But wait a minute, Sister Munden, Sister Duvall, Cristy Lynn and Sister C.
They're all made out of flesh just like me.
So just maybe they have some tears and some worry and some stress
That I just never get to see 'cause I'm busy with my own mess.
Maybe they seem to have it all together
Because they've chosen to praise no matter what the weather.
Maybe they took the time to count up the cost.
They examined the sacrifice and didn't consider it a loss,
And when times got tough they kept their eyes on the cross.
Maybe this has nothing to do with me and my flaws,
My tendency to mess up, and me being a lost cause,
But everything to do with me needing to slow down and just pause
And realize I can't run this race alone
And that I have to surrender to the Lord's will and not my own.
No, I'm not perfect, you heard all the things that I've said.
I wake up and complain instead
Of thanking God I'm not dead.
Instead of thanking God that I'm married, I give my husband attitude,
And when I get a little bit frustrated, I get a lot of bit rude.
I complain about diapers and shenanigans from my toddler,
But forget that there was a day that I cried out for children at the altar.
No, I'm not perfect, I have flaws, I make mistakes,
But the race isnt given to the swift, but to the one who endures no matter what it takes.
My appearance, whether it be my physique or my reputation, shouldn't be what I'm pursuing.
Instead, I should be chasing righteousness and not be weary in well doing.
So when I look at my sisters Munden, Duvall, Cristy, and Sister C.,
And nothing but righteous perfection is all that I see,
Who's to say that someone that's growing up isn't looking that way at me?
When a sister is looking for a person who worships spirtitually and true,
Who's to say that sister in church isn't looking at you?
About the Creator
Korreain Johnson
I'm a Christian wife and mother of three who homeschools. Although I often seem very cookie cutter and traditional in many ways, my creativity allows me to express a side of me that doesn't have to be bothered with perfection and judgment.
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