I'm Okay

Frightened and overwhelmed

I sit upon the floor arms around knees

Rocking I speak quietly

"We’re okay. You're okay. I'm okay"

I wonder how often I will need to say it

to believe it.

It seems no matter what I say these days

in the vein of positivity

it Is nothing but a lie

I am not okay.

I am not fine.

I cry more days than not.

I long to run away

To disappear into the darkness

never to be found.

I have responsibilities I cannot leave

Lives that depend on me

and I cannot let them down

Yet I fear I am already doing so

What kind of mother am I

Sitting in the dark crying again

Wishing to be gone again

Believing that every day is harder

than the day before.

I went through a very dark and difficult time. I have gotten help and my medication seems to be on point. I still have moments like this, but it’s short lived. I see a therapist and I’m not afraid to be honest about how I’m feeling. I know I’m not alone and I hope that someone reads this and knows that they aren’t alone either.