I'm Cool As A Cucumber When I.....
A poem about my personality and some thoughts I would love to share with you
I'm cool as a cucumber
when I retreat to my
own little planet.
I make time to interact
with my imaginary friends,
read fantastic stories,
hear the sound of Mother Earth
and cuddle in my bed.
I love roaming around
like a social butterfly,
but I also value
being a hermit who
likes to be in
her own little world.
I love the art of quietude,
because I can enter
my dreams whenever I desire
without interruption.
I'm cool as a cucumber
when I swim in my own
pool of thoughts,
without anyone else
floating around me.
I can hear the music of
my own little
ripples and splashes.
For all my life, I've lived with two different personalities. It has nothing to do with mental illness, because I'm not diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder or any other personality disorder. It's just how I'm made and I embrace my two unique personalities. It also has to do with the fact that I have Autism and Anxiety; some people with Autism tend to have two different personalities, especially when they're emotional, weary after a long day and unable to control their emotions. To live a balanced and meaningful life, they need space for socialization, but also for alone time. If they don't have enough time for self-care, they'll easily get overwhelmed and have a more difficult time completing their daily activities. I'm one of those individuals with Autism that needs space for both socialization and solitude, so I'll have an easier time completing my daily activities. I'm also prone to stress and panic attacks, so it's definitely a necessity for me to have time for both socialization and alone time.
As I've mentioned in previous Vocal stories, I'm a people person which means I enjoy interacting with others. Even though I'm considered a "people person", I also don't mind spending some time by myself to read, go for walks, complete my household chores, draw, exercise, play video games and do other activities that are both essential and recreational in nature. Interestingly, being alone is not new and peculiar to me. I've been neglected by my elementary school friends so many times that I no longer cared about playing or hanging out by myself. As I spent more time doing creative and intellectual hobbies in my teenage years, I began to value and enjoy solitude. When I was alone doing hobbies like painting, sketching, drawing, walking outside, dancing, reading, doing puzzles and playing solitaire, it allowed me to concentrate better.
When I became friends with this one girl in high school, she would occasionally judge me for not wanting to engage with anyone. Because of how she approached me from time to time, I began to think that it was inappropriate to "sit in a corner and do crossword puzzles", "read under a tree in the school yard" or "hibernate in the school library". My mom and dad told me that it wasn't wrong and that it was her way of saying that I loved doing things on my own during lunch hour. My mom's ex-boyfriend perceived it as a sense of autonomy.
As I matured, I began to embrace my two distinctive personalities. I no longer believe itβs unacceptable to be reserved and sociable at the same time. I believe it's a beautiful thing to have, because it enables flexibility. For example, if I can't get together with my friends for whatever the case may be, I can enjoy being alone to do whatever my heart desires. When I want to be social and other people are willing to engage, I'll take the time to enjoy every interaction! It has also helped me deal with disappointment, since I used to get upset and sad when I couldn't spend a weekend with friends. The lesson I learned was: I can't always get my way and I have to rely on my self sometimes. I can't always depend on my peers, my family or go out whenever I want to distract myself. I have to depend on myself and what I have at home to occupy myself. I even reminded myself of this lesson every day during the pandemic. Thanks to the pandemic and spending more time alone, I don't mind being at home when I want to be at home! I started to not become upset when I was unable to leave the house.
When I spend more time by myself, I also allow myself extra space to listen to mantras on my phone, meditate and reflect on my life in tranquility. When I spend time with the people I truly adore, care about and find valuable, I take a break from being in my "private bubble" to enjoy the beauty of life. The beauty of life consists of more than just "swimming in your own pool of thoughts with no one floating around you". Both my bubble and pool of thoughts will be there for whenever I desire to enter. While I have the chance to do so, I need to fly like a bird and mingle with others.
I'm a believer of life and I want to take whatever opportunities are given to me. End of story! πβπ»
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem and story about what it's like living like an ambivert. My hope was to provide a sense of comfort for all the ambiverts out there, but also to inspire those living on this planet to "just be themselves". If you enjoyed reading this poem and story, please give it a β€οΈ and share it with others who may be interested in viewing it. To view more of my poems, stories and articles, please visit my public profile. I'm happy to connect with those who are willing to follow and interact with me on Instagram. Stay tuned for more exciting stories, poems and articles! Have a beautiful week! πΊπΈπ
IG Account: @naturalbibliophile22
About the Creator
Talia Devora
Poetess, visual artist and lifestyle/quiz writer! My pastimes include reading, sleeping, gaming, music, fitness, etc! Be yourselves, be kind and value life! Let's connect and be friends!
My IG accounts: @tdwrites24 & @tdcreates97
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (2)
I loved the poem and thank you for opening up so much. I feel I have two people inside me, one positive and supportive and loving and the other vindictive and not pleasant all. Luckily the first one almost always wins.
Unique, your poem is cool and lovely. Loving it!!!ππ