I Love This Place

I remember the last time we were here. Sitting on this balcony together, gazing out over the sea. Your smile beaming in the ocean mist, your eyes as bright as the sparkling rays of sunshine dancing on the waves.

Three years ago today, it was. Our last vacation together, in the most serene place we’d ever seen. Surrounded by beauty, settled in peace, encircled in love.

We planned to come back to this paradise. We booked the flight, reserved the beach house and waited in anticipation of our fifth honeymoon. Or was it our sixth? I don’t know anymore. Every moment with you felt like a honeymoon, even after thirty wonderful years.

Then the pandemic hit, our flights cancelled, ours plans delayed. It was ok, you said. We had lots of time, you said. Two years we waited before finally rebooking. We reminisced on our time here together, while dreaming of the time we could return. Our next honeymoon was all ready. Just waiting for us.

But the time didn’t come. Your time came instead. We did everything right, everything we could to avoid this. But it didn’t matter. It got you anyway. It came like a thief in the night and stole you away from me. Two weeks before our scheduled return to paradise.

You’re in a different paradise now, without me; and I am here, sitting on this balcony without you.

Looking out over the ocean, my face wet with tears, my smile nonexistent. How can my heart welcome the joy of this beautiful place when it’s already overfilled with longing for you? I have no room for joy. It left me when you did. The brightness in my world has been replaced by a thick fog of loneliness that hangs over my ocean of despair.

I don’t even know why I’m here. I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t insisted. Insisted that I go anyway to this place we loved so much, this place that made us both so happy. This magical place where the ocean meets the sky and the salt air curls your messy hair. The paradise we explored together in the day and danced the night away under the stars; where we loved and lived as if we were the only two people on earth.

I’m alone now, without you; and I hate this place.

*This is a fiction piece I wrote for the "Balcony" prompt in the Facebook Group Vocal Writing Prompts.