Photo by Serhii Tyaglovsky on Unsplash
I.
When you first held me,
burning was a small expense
for the light of sight.
II.
And then you washed me,
and finally I was clean;
you licked my pink wounds.
III.
I couldn't help it,
breathing you in but not out.
I wanted to float.
IIII.
When cave-in happens,
around the flesh of my soul,
I'll smile in repose.
43
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (17)
That was really good
The smooth progression through the elements and the way they are used to express deep intomacy is genius. “Burning was a small expense” speaks of giving into that flame regardless of consequences, just like love. “Breathing you in but not out” is just intoxicating, possessively beautiful and expressing that feel of not wanting to let go. The last haiku hits home with sober reality and yet it speaks of a connection that lasts for eternity. Deeply touched by this piece.
Beautiful 💐
I love how you did this
Damn this is a cool poem
love the way you interpreted the elements!
Nicely done. Congrats on the top story
An intriguing poem with a unique structure! The use of numbers as line breaks creates a unique rhythm and flow. I enjoy how the poem unfolds and the themes explored within it. Thank you for sharing your poetry.
Nice work what about its intrested poetry Dread please. https://vocal.media/poets/dear-coffee
Oooo trippy and dark. Great work.
Gorgeously written! Congratulations on top story!!!
Really well done!
I love the natural progression through the elements in relation to the development of a relationship. Congrats on Top Story!
Awesome
Powerful! Left a heart and subscribed.
Reminds me of death. Excellent. Hearted and subscribed
this is beautiful!