I don’t want to be...
I make no sense to you and
Your way of thinking confounds me
I can’t, won’t ever, don’t want to
fit in
Real, physical pain
To feel and see that which is invisible and untouchable and unknowable to you
And I’m all over the map
Searching for the thing that is
Natural
Inherent
Fighting to find it
Walking miles through deserts and cities
Coast to coast
Over the seas
In foreign lands
Growing weary
The hourglass sand pouring down
And I’ve used so much energy
Not being me
The spark I feel
I can see in some people
Rare
but
Unmistakable
and
Certain
Artists and Chefs
Entrepreneurs
Writers and
Riders
People whose work sweats and bleeds out their pores
Directly from their souls
And I wonder, did I miss my boat?
Way back when
I knew what I wanted to be
But didn’t
Maybe I did
But no matter
Because I have one shot and
As long as there’s time left
I keep putting one foot in front of the other
To find it
And the more they tell me quit looking
It’s not important
It can’t be found
The more important it is that I find it
I know it’s there
Emitting a dog-whistle sound
Across the landscape
Me, honing in on it
And I know sacrifices
will have to be made to have it
But it’s a matter of my life, before death
And it must be found
So I don’t want to continue to be this person
I am not
Doing this thing
that is not for me
I’ve put it on notice because
My time,
My thing
Is coming
And the world will be brighter for it
Because I won’t just be
About the Creator
Mary Padilla
I’m a rider and a writer, here to give it a go.
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