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How to turn Cotton to Rock

Thoughts on Click Bait titles

By Natalie LoisPublished 4 years ago 1 min read

There’s this taboo about telling sad stories

People usually share stories about their past that are funny, or heartwarming, or adventurous, or wild

It’s hard for me to reciprocate that

I suppose I have fun stories like that, but they’re not very memorable to me

Perhaps they were defining moments for those people

For me, those moments were ones I threw myself into to distract myself from my actual definitive memories

As if I could replace them

I could tell my stories but sometimes I feel as if it is looked down upon as unnecessary, weak, self pitying, weird, and uncomfortable

So I don’t say anything and I bury it

I suppress a part of myself that I tell myself isn’t a part of who I am

I pretend I have tons of stories like others

I pretend when I hear these happy stories that I don’t get a little sad sometimes

I pretend

Until I feel very far away from myself

When I was younger I wasn’t allowed to be loud

So I was quiet

I became so silent that I didn’t even like wearing clothes that spoke - they had to be without a logo or design

I wore plain t shirts and jeans and shoes and wore my hair in a plain ponytail

I wanted my clothes to be mute

As if they were - somehow I would be invisible and safe

And then one day I tired of it

I was tired of hiding in the shadows

I wanted to be seen and heard

I wanted to be loud and shocking

And I overcame all that

I‘m still as insecure as anyone, and sometimes I’m still timid

But now I at least try to step outside my comfort zone and present myself new challenges

The end.

surreal poetry

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    Natalie LoisWritten by Natalie Lois

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