I wasn’t a clown, but I loved Halloween. I wasn’t the life of the party, but I loved to be seen. The glitz, and glam was what I was about. So when my life changed, I lived it with doubt. Hollywood was so far fetched now. I took a sip of my Chardonnay, and sighed. What happened? The life I want isn’t the life I’m living. I didn’t know what was in Hollywood, but that’s where I wanted to be. In my dreams I’d have late nights and early mornings. I’d have a maid named Maria with a strong Spanish accent serving me breakfast and as I’d walk onto my expensive balcony I’d be sun kissed immediately. I’d be blinded by the HOLLYWOOD sign reflection which would amplify my passion for fashion. I was a star. I never understood why the rich and famous were depressed. This was the life. That is what I thought, until I became the life of the party. I found new friends, but I lost me. Every California sunrise came with a California sunset. At night it was dark. I was scared of the dark. I’d hear coyotes howling and raccoons approaching my expensive garbage bins outside. Get away peasants, I thought 💭 But I would not dare go near them. Hollywood taught me that. My new friends weren’t there at night. I grew more lonely. How can one with so much be so unhappy? I was desired by many, but I only wanted one. I grew depressed, and bags grew under my eyes. I looked at the Hollywood sign and noticed that it was worn out when it rained. The paint from tensile town chipped. Now where will I go? Hollywood was supposed to be perfect. I popped a Percocet, and then another and another. The Hollywood life got to me. I gave more credit to Hollywood than it was due. A place can’t make you happy, it all starts with you. So I took off my wigs, nails, and clothes and I freed myself. You see living like a rockstar will have you home alone, and quiet like sheep. I popped that perc because I dream, and don’t sleep.